Why You Should Read: The Measure of Our Age by MT Connolly

Why You Should Read: The Measure of Our Age by MT Connolly

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

June 27, 2025

My copy, complete with post it notes and dogged-eared pages.

Recently I read The Measure of Our Age: Navigating Care, Safety, Money & Meaning Later in Life by M.T. Connolly, which explores the fact that while our society has managed to extend the average American life by 30 years, we have lagged on enhancing those years with deeper quality of life.  

Composed of 15 chapters the book is a comprehensive look at aging in America.  Topics include the typical: housing and money issues.  It also delves into the topics of elder abuse/neglect and the benefits of intergenerational living arrangements.  Connolly, an attorney and leading expert in the area of elder justice, delivers a sociological style read filled with true accounts and practical considerations.  For anyone planning to age with grace and dignity or those who aim to support a loved one in their elder years, this book is worth the read. 

Connolly spends considerable time exploring the topic of elder scams, something I believe will explode in American society as our Baby Boomers age and become more vulnerable to opportunists.  Unlike the past, our elders are under new lines of attack from those inside their trusted circle as well as thieves operating out of criminal dens on the other side of the globe. Not all doom and gloom, Connolly also spends time discussing Imagination Kits; created by English Professor Anne Basting at the University of Wisconsin, the kit aims to bring joy and meaning to late life using a technique called creative engagement. 

The book would be enhanced with the addition of tips and suggestions a person can employ in their own life or on behalf of an older loved one that rely less on government services. More and more I am reading about people retiring overseas in an effort to find lower costs of living and improved quality of life.  This topic may add even more value to Connolly’s research in future editions of her book. 

Earning 4 out of 5 stars on my Goodreads account, I highly recommend this book.  It provides stories combined with statistics on a timely and emerging issue for most Americans.  Spend a few hours with her work, and then start sketching out a plan for yourself and your loved ones.  We have more years, let’s make the most of them!

Thanks for reading, and remember that a blog post is not legal advice.  It is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Always seek legal counsel from an attorney licensed in your home state.  If you found this piece helpful, consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform.  Also, sign up (upper right) to receive emails when new posts hit Navigator.  Be well!

Pocket Peace of Mind: Estate Planning and Probate Lessons from Rome's Pickpockets to Today's Tech Scams

Pocket Peace of Mind: Estate Planning and Probate Lessons from Rome's Pickpockets to Today's Tech Scams

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

May 16, 2025

Streets of Rome, Italy.
Image by M. Gustafson Gervasi

Taking in the sites of Rome, Italy this past winter break, our itinerary read like the list of “Top 10 places for Pickpockets in Rome”: Roma Termini Train Station; the Colosseum; Trevi Fountain; the Vatican Museum; and Bus #64.  Yet, we felt prepared and did not experience the dreaded missing wallet or phone while traveling.  I read up about common pickpocket techniques in advance, purchased of a Baggallini anti-theft purse, and prepared a few responses to unsolicited offers of help (a common ploy thieves use to distract you abroad).  The trip was a success: we enjoyed the sites and returned to the States with our wallets, phones and passports!  Keep this story in mind as your life kicks into the high-gear of summer living.

Yes, your life is about to get busy.  From summer travel plans, to attending marriage ceremonies, to helping a recent graduate move, the weeks between Memorial Day and Labor Day weekend can flash past in a blur.  During these crazy busy days of Summer, be careful – do not let your guard down in regards to your finances or those you manage for a loved one.  Opportunists strike when the victim is off-balance and distracted. Empower yourself by learning about current ways scam artists attempt to separate you from your money.  

Relative in need: someone pretends to be a family member or friend who reaches out through email or phone and says they are in trouble and need you to wire money immediately.  Using AI technology, scammers can mimic someone’s voice with as little as 3 seconds of recording.  For example, using someone’s outgoing voicemail greeting, scammers can use AI to make it sound like that person is calling a loved one for help.

Charity appeal: you receive a call, email, letter, or social media request to donate to a charity that is actually fake.  Perhaps it is entirely made up, or the name is close to an actual charity.  Before donating, confirm that it is legitimate.  One resource is the IRS website and checking its list of verified nonprofit organizations.  https://www.irs.gov/charities-and-nonprofits

Playing the lottery in Panama.
Image by M. Gustafson Gervasi

Lottery or sweepstakes: receiving a message that you have won is foreign lottery, often with a prompt that you need to provide your bank account information to receive your winnings.  

Home Improvement: Before signing a contract or making a deposit, confirm the integrity of any home improvement professional or company.  Sometimes they will take a deposit and then return. Other times, while working on a minor project, they will break something intentionally that requires a lot more money to fix.  Word of mouth with your neighbors is a powerful way to find quality help around the house, followed up with a check at your local Better Business Bureau.

Free lunch:  There is no such thing as a free lunch is the saying; if you are invited to a free lunch or dinner to attend a “seminar”, know that it may come with high pressure sales techniques.

Free trip:  Watch out for offers of free travel that then require you to supply credit card information to hold the reservation.  Chances are there is no trip, and the scammers will use your credit card information to line their pockets.

Government money: From taxes to subsidies for home repairs to utilities, use caution if you receive a letter or email from a government agency requesting your credit card or banking information.  Always verify that what appears to be legitimate actually is.  Look up the contact information independently; do not use what is printed on the letter or email.

Drug plans: Scammers may pretend to be with Medicare prescription drug plans to sell you discount cards for medication that are not real.  

Identity theft: Scammers will steal your personal information and use it to open credit cards or loans in your name.  Guard information such as your complete legal name, date of birth, social security number, account numbers, and your mother’s maiden name.

Fake mail from financial service companies: From investment companies to banks to accountants, make sure an email or letter is not fake.  Scammers will use this method to try and get at your banking information.

For those who have been scammed, or simply received scam solicitations, consider making a report to any of the following:

• Adult Protective Services
• Long-term Care Ombudsman,
• Police or Sheriff
• Better Business Bureau
• Federal Trade Commission
• US Postal Inspection Service

Remember that a blog is not legal advice.  It is meant to spark thought and discussion.  I encourage you to seek counsel from an attorney licensed in your home state.  Thanks for reading, and consider sharing this post on your favorite social media platform.  Also, in the upper right corner you can enter your email address and receive notice for future posts.  Be well, and enjoy your Summer!

Beyond the Myths: 3 Steps to Understanding Estate Planning Law

Beyond the Myths: 3 Steps to Understanding Estate Planning Law 

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

May 9, 2025

"Pffhhhh, still saying this....? " I asked to myself as my eyes fell upon the sign posted in a local store.  "No, that’s not quite right", I muttered to myself.  The victim does not have the legal authority to prosecute shoplifters; that power lies with the District Attorney.  A victim can report a crime to the police, provide evidence (video surveillance for example), and express their preference.  But the ultimate decision to prosecute is for the District Attorney to make.  Over and over my legally trained eyes see half-truths and myths hovering over our understanding of the judicial system.  Even in my area of focus, estate planning and probate, the general public's knowledge is usually not quite accurate when it comes to the law.

The most common example I see relates to power of attorney.  “I need to hire an attorney.  My mom died last week, and I am her Power of Attorney.”  This statement is not accurate.  In Wisconsin the authority of a Power of Attorney terminates when the principal dies (Wis. Stats. 244.10(1)(a)).  “Technically you were your mother’s power of attorney, but that authority no longer exists”.  This is an important distinction because the person with authority to make decisions after a death occurs is called the Personal Representative here in Wisconsin (most other states use the term Executor).  As a result, it is the Personal Representative who needs to seek out legal counsel, not the Power of Attorney.  Depending on what documents were drafted and what they say, the person who was the Power of Attorney for finances may or may not be the Personal Representative.

Here are three things consumers can do to learn about the actual law, not myths and misconceptions, for estate planning and probate:

1. Explore Your State Bar Association's Resources: Most state bar associations have sections dedicated to providing information to the public about various legal topics, including estate planning and probate. For example, if you are in Wisconsin, you could visit the State Bar of Wisconsin's website. These resources often include plain-language guides, FAQs, and even directories to find qualified attorneys.  
2. Review Official Government and Court Websites: State government websites, particularly those of the legislature or judicial system, often contain summaries and explanations of the relevant laws and procedures. Look for resources from your state's probate court or the state legislature's website, as they may have official guides or FAQs about estate planning and probate processes. 
3. Seek Out Educational Workshops or Seminars from Reputable Organizations: Look for educational workshops or seminars on estate planning offered by trusted organizations. These might include local bar associations, community education programs, or sometimes even non-profit legal aid societies. These sessions are often led by attorneys and can provide accurate, law-based information in an accessible format. Be sure to check the credentials of the presenter and the reputation of the sponsoring organization.

Remember, a blog is not legal advice.  It is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Please consult an attorney licensed in your home state for advice specific to your situation.  Enjoy this post?  Consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform, and sign up for email updates when new posts arrive.  Enter your email in the upper right-hand corner.  Thanks for reading, and be well. 

Ensuring Smooth Transitions: Gene Hackman's Will Teaches Us the The Importance of Survivorship Clauses

Ensuring Smooth Transitions: Gene Hackman's Will Teaches Us the The Importance of Survivorship Clauses

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

May 2, 2025

“Alright, and then on page six of your will you will see the section called ‘Survivorship’ – this means that a person can outlive you, but not survive you long enough to inherit.  For example, if there is a car accident and you die at the scene and your spouse dies two weeks later, she did not survive you by 90 days (the time frame noted here in the will), so the will treats her as though she predeceased you and your assets will go to the contingency you named.”  Weekly, as I educated my estate planning clients on the basic mechanics of a will, I offer these comments.  In recent weeks I have started to point out that they may have heard about the Survivorship concept because the will of Actor Gene Hackman apparently did not have a survivorship clause. Meaning his share of their combined estate will likely be distributed according to the intestacy laws of New Mexico; flowing to his children who he may not have intended to inherit. “It always amazes me that an actor with an $80 million estate has a will without this basic concept – did they have their entertainment lawyer draft it?”  I say with a shake of my head, then I move on to discussing the next steps in my client’s estate planning process.  

Gene Hackman portrayed a savvy and skilled lawyer in the 1993 movie version of The Firm, but his real world estate plan appears to have been lacking. Survivorship clauses in a will are useful for several reasons:

• Preventing Double Probate: If beneficiaries die shortly after the testator, their estates would also need to be probated, resulting in additional costs and delays. A survivorship clause streamlines the process by avoiding this double probate.
• Ensuring Intended Distribution: As demonstrated in the example above, survivorship clauses help ensure that assets pass to the intended beneficiaries, especially in cases of simultaneous or near-simultaneous death.
• Avoiding Unintended Heirs: By specifying a survival period, you can prevent assets from passing to individuals you may not have intended to benefit.
• Clarity and Certainty: Survivorship clauses provide clarity and certainty in the distribution of assets, reducing the potential for disputes among heirs.

Keep in mind that some states may have default survivorship periods.  For example, in Wisconsin the default survivorship requirement is 120 hours ( or 5 days).  In the scenario of the married couple in a car accident, if there had been no will with a 90 survivorship requirement, the wife would have lived long enough to inherit.  Likely triggering a dual probate process. While it may seem like a minor detail, a survivorship clause is a vital component of a comprehensive estate plan. It provides crucial protection against unintended distributions and ensures that your assets pass smoothly to your intended beneficiaries.

Remember that a blog is not legal advice; it is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Please discuss survivorship clauses with your estate planning attorney in your home state. They can help you understand the implications and tailor your will to your specific needs.  Thank you for reading, be well!

Decluttering for Peace of Mind: An Earth Day and Estate Planning Perspective

Decluttering for Peace of Mind: An Earth Day and Estate Planning Perspective

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

April 22, 2025

Once again a gentle Spring rain greeted my teenagers as they silenced the alarms on their phones and started their day - Earth Day 2025.  Year round they bike to school; studded tires make a Wisconsin winter bike commute a possibility.  Now that the snow is behind us (we hope) its the wet days that spur them to ask for a ride instead.  I said no, not today, and sent them on their way.  And then I zipped up my rain coat, laced up my tennis shoes, and walked to the office in the rain.  

Morning walk - the sun arrives

My 30 minute walk gave me time to think about all the clients I have helped over nearly 20 years of practicing estate planning and probate.  Many put a huge amount of energy in writing documents, making sure they are stored correctly, and leaving written instructions.  The one area that seems to be neglected by many is the art of decluttering.  Having an estate plan on paper is a great thing; only 32 percent of Americans have a will.  But, if you really want to make your passing as easy as possible on the loved ones you leave behind, I suggest decluttering now.  It will be a gift to your loved ones, and to Mother Earth.

When you take the time to declutter now you can rehome items efficiently, minimizing what gets tossed into a dumpster.  You can also save loved ones hours and hours of time sorting through your possessions, trying to decide what to keep and what to toss, make all the more difficult because they are operating in a cloud of grief.

This is not a new topic for those who follow my writing.  Here are 2 different book reviews I’ve written that might motivate you to tackle the clutter yourself, and not leave it up to your heirs:

• The Art of Swedish Death Cleaning -- click here for the review.
• Inheriting Clutter -- click here for the review.

A blog is meant to spark thought and reflection - it is not legal advice.  Please consult with an attorney in your home state for advice specific to your situation.  If you have found this post helpful, consider sharing a link on your favorite social media platform.  Also, enter your email above, upper right, to receive a message when a new post hits. Be well, and thank you for reading.

National Healthcare Decision Day - What to Know

National Healthcare Decision Day - What to Know

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

April 11, 2025

“Brain, brain, what is brain” quipped my almost 15 year old daughter as we wove our way through information tables at the recent UW Carbone Cancer Center Open House.  Among the display tables, all featuring interesting swag, one table offered rubber gloves and the chance to pick up a human brain.  She quoted an episode from her beloved Star Trek (she is very much her father’s daughter in terms of Sci Fi preferences), and then quickly exited the area.  I on the other hand had a few questions for the eager medical students armed with knowledge and props.  As an estate planning and probate attorney, I routinely discuss organ donation with my clients as they complete a power of attorney for health care.  When we think about “donating my body to science” we likely do not think about the role actual human organs play in community outreach!  Now I have a new perspective to share with my clients.  I also have no insight into my scientifically inclined daughter – she will not be working with anything involving formaldehyde.

Organ donation used for community outreach

Ever the teenager, my daughter was not pleased to be spending her Sunday afternoon at a scientific open house.  “Mom, these events are for 3rd graders, not me.  And it SMELLS in here!”  I agreed, but countered with a positive “well, at least we know you don’t want to work with human organs.  Identifying what you do not want to do for a career is likely more important than settling on a specific career before you can vote!”  There is intense pressure on our teens to decide on a career path at an early age.  Sometime too early in this mama’s opinion.  And I offer this same approach to you dear reader, when it comes to making decisions and you feel stymied, start with ruling things out.  That may help you zero in on what you do want.  For example, it's time to make healthcare decisions.

Next week we’ll celebrate National Healthcare Decision Day on April 16th.  Organized by The Conversation Project. The day is meant to encourage Americans to make decisions about your healthcare preferences and to make those choices known.  Specifically, you can create a Power of Attorney for Healthcare where you can appoint another person to make your medical decisions when you cannot due to an accident or sudden illness. For example, the person can consent to surgery, schedule medical appointments, or set up in home healthcare.  Another document is called the Living Will (aka Advance Directive) which tells your medical team what measures you want in an end of life situation.  For example, whether you wish to receive life-sustaining treatments like CPR, dialysis, or mechanical ventilation.

Laws related to estate planning and probate are state specific.  Each state has its own set of laws and regulations related to powers of attorney for healthcare.  It is important to learn the laws of your state, and follow them accordingly.  Here in Wisconsin, we are not a “next of kin” state.  That means there is no automatic assumption under the law about who can make healthcare decisions for you if you are incapacitated.  As a result, the courts would then appoint a guardian.  This may be someone you would not have wanted to act.  If at all possible, make a decision about who should speak for you, and then make it legally binding by creating a power of attorney for healthcare.

You are likely the best person to decide who should act for you.  If this topic is new to you, consider the following factors when selecting your healthcare agent:

• Who has the time, or can make the time, to handle decisions if you are seriously ill
• Who has the skill set to be your advocate in the overcrowded healthcare world
• Who will honor your wishes and follow your wishes when making medical decisions
• Who will remain the most calm and level headed it you are in the ICU

Thank you for reading.  Remember that a blog is not legal advice, but rather a platform to encourage thought and reflection.  Please seek legal counsel from an attorney licensed in your home state.  Consider sharing this post on your favorite social media platform if others might enjoy it, and sign up above (upper right hand corner) to receive an email for future posts.  Be well!

4 Steps for Pet Lovers to Include in an Estate Plan

4 Steps for Pet Lovers to Include in an Estate Plan

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

April 4, 2025

Her name was Kiki, and she was a full-of-life 5 year old cat who all of a sudden found herself in need of a new home.  When her human companion suffered a sudden and severe illness, it became clear that under no circumstances would they be able to continue sharing the downtown condo they had called home.  Like countless other animals, Kiki's path was uncertain – now what?  

It was the promise of a dear family friend that secured Kiki secured a new family.  And that family is my own. Kiki's sudden need for a second family is not unique, and is one I routinely discuss with clients.  Now aged 18, she remains full of sass and demands her breakfast and dinner with the precision of a Swiss train. 

When assisting people in drafting powers of attorneys, wills, and trusts – I routinely ask them “what if questions”.  And more often than not I hear “Oh, I hadn't thought of that!”  In the case of clients who are human companions to dogs, cats, and other animals I offer the following suggestions:

• Program the ICE in your Smart Phone (it's the In Case of Emergency key) to have a Pet Contact. Should you be in a car accident or other situation where you are fall ill away from home, make sure emergency personnel know about animals in your home that may need care within the next 12 hours.  It is common practice for authorities to use your phone to locate loved ones, and it can alert them to special circumstances in your home.
• Post a Care Contact Document on your fridge.  Parents of young children often have a magnet on the fridge with the phone number for the pediatrician, etc.  Those with animals in the home should create a similar document and list: name and phone number of veterinarian; list of prescription food or medicines for each animal, if any; contact information for a short-term pet sitter; and the name and number of one or two people who are willing and able to offer a new permanent home to an animal.
• Create powers of attorney for finance, which allow your agent to manage your financial affairs if you are alive, but too sick to act.  This should include services related to animal health and care.
• If medical or other care costs will be a financial burden on future caretakers, consider creating a pet trust in a will.  This tool can be simple (usually four paragraphs long), and allow you to transfer animals and money to a trust managed by someone you appoint, cared for my a person of your choosing, and direct where any remaining monies should upon the death of the animal.

Ms. Kiki - now aged 18

Please know that a blog is not intended to be legal advice.  Rather, it is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Please consult with an attorney licensed in your state.  Be well, thanks for reading, and share this post on your preferred social media if you think others might enjoy it as well!