Wisconsin's Authorization for Final Disposition Form
By Melinda Gustafson Geravsi
June 20, 2024
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| The author with her father, approximately 1976. |
It was 11pm on a Friday night when the hospital called with the news that my father. who had been in palliative care for the past week, had left this Earth. It happened just after my mother and I left his room for the evening. Not in the best of health herself, my mother needed to rest at her home. If he had control over his last breath, I believe my father waited until my mother was out of the room, a final effort to shield her from pain.
While we knew what was going to happen, until it actually did the shock and grief hovered above, descending first with the phone call, then deeper when we walked into his room for a final time to say a good-bye. I will never forget my mother's gasp as she entered his room. Lifeless, she knew and felt his absence.
As we walked out of the hospital room door, the staff at the nurses station, with clipboards in hand, were ready to move things along. The room was needed. What were the next steps? Which funeral home should be called? We had one hour to give our response. Yes, one hour at what was now well after midnight and the end of a very long week, and the final march of a very difficult illness that claimed his life. One hour to make several administrative decision.
Most people do not have an Estate Planning and Probate attorney in the family, but my mother did. We had talked about the next steps and were able to put the plan in motion. We had selected direct cremation with a specific funeral home. We made one phone call, and that person started a phone tree to alert other loved ones.
Even though my parents were proud of my legal education and solo private practice, I was still their daughter. The toddler who rode her bike off the porch and into a window-well the day we moved into the family home. The argumentative teenager who challenged them when limits on my freedom were imposed in the form of a curfew. They listened, but often did not act on legal advice I offered. Specifically. my dad never filled out Wisconsin's Authorization for Final Disposition Form, which allows a person to say who is in charge of making funeral and burial decisions as well as what types of disposition they want (cremation, green burial, funeral, etc.). Given that my father was survived by his spouse, the authority flowed to her under Wisconsin law. Yet, it was not without problems.
Growing up my father often said he wanted a Catholic funeral and to be buried in the same cemetery as his parents. Statements his son from a previous marriage knew. However, in his later years as his health failed and he saw how others used cremation as an affordable alternative, his opinion changed. He told me he wanted to preserve as many assets as possible for my mother and to "not waste good money on a pricey Catholic funeral". Instead, my parents thought they should both be cremated and the ashes put to rest in a joint plot where my mother's extended family was buried. In the end, it fit their life and needs. Due to an estrangement with is son, this change of opinion was not shared. And it came as a harsh surprise at my father's death. And that harsh surprise created even more tension at an already awkward funeral.
If you live in Wisconsin and know who you want to make funeral decisions and you what type of burial you prefer, consider completing this free, fill-in-the-blank form. It will make those hours immediately after death a bit more manageable for loved ones. It will clearly state who should be in charge. And it will convey your wishes to those with an interest in your final good-bye. Many of my clients seek out ways to make their passing as easy as possible on their loved ones. Take it from me, who learned from personal experience, this simple form is one way to convey your wishes and not have it appear that someone has "taken charge of your funeral", causing other loved ones to feel slighted.
Thank you for reading. This blog is not legal advice, but rather a platform to spark thought and reflection. Please seek legal counsel from an attorney licensed in your state of residence for advice specific to your situation. Be well!
