Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The Boys

Somehow I held back the tears, the ones brimming in my eyes, sobs wanting to escape my throat. Somehow I held back, somehow I keep calling -- can you help me find a home for The Boys?  It was January 2014, what locals here in Wisconsin will remember as Polar Vortex season, and my mother was dying.  What would happen to The Boys, her kitty cats?  With three cats of our own, two of which were seniors, plus two young children and a dual self-employed couple -- our home was not a viable option.

Sitting in my car, with illumination from the lamp post in the parking lot of the building I was scheduled to speak at in less than 30 minutes. Channeling my estate planning attorney self, quieting the daughter inside, I kept calling.   Our local shelter, a local feral cat rescue, our family vet.  The answer over and over, sorry we cannot help.

It was my family vet that told me, ever so gently, that if The Boys went to our county animal rescue they would likely be put down after a week.  Two twelve year old males, both with health issues. Adoption was unlikely, especially if they were to be kept together.  My mother was fading in hospice care, and I was desperate not to deliver her beloved cats to kitty death row.  I could not change my mother's fate, but I could help the two cats my parents had both adored in life.

It was our cat sitter, who I refer to as Saint Angela, that opened her heart and home to The Boys. And I opened my wallet, offering to help her each and every month to cover medical and medication bills for their lifetime. Pet lovers -- have you ever asked what will happen to your furry four-legged friends?  Whether your animal companions are dogs, cats, birds, snakes, or backyard chickens -- who will be there for them?  How will their vet bills, food, grooming, etc. be paid for?

Looking back at my mother's situation, I would have made two recommendations.  First, have a distinct paragraph in her power of attorney for finance related to expenditures for her pets.  A power of attorney allowed me to act for her in a financial capacity, and pets are actually someone's property. Remember, one may be sick for an extended time, likely moving to a facility where pets are not allowed.  Second, her will could have contained a pet trust -- a small trust, created at death, to hold both the animals and a small amount of cash from which to pay future expenses.   

Typical mass-produced estate planning materials talk about generation skipping taxes, the benefits of living revocable trusts, how to create a foundation. In reality, most of those issues are not a concern for middle class Americans.  Yet, as of 2012, 62 percent of households had at least one pet, making planning for your pets care an important issue to address.  Even a simple plan would be better than nothing.   Survey friends and family about who would be willing to open their heart and home. Display your pet's veterinarian's phone number, and note any special foods or medications a pet is prescribed. An ounce of planning today will make a huge difference if and when your pet needs a new home because you are no longer able to provide one.



Buddy
and
Kully
aka The Boys

Friday, September 12, 2014

Nominating a New Estate Planning Term - Goat Rodeo

So, you’re telling me I am better off just managing this Goat Rodeo?  A rhetorical question posed by a client some months ago in follow-up to our one hour discussion about the ins and outs of the 1986 trust the client's parents had created.  Yes, that is one way to put it. This may go down as my most humorous and enjoyable client meeting of 2014. Goat Rodeo -- what a perfect way to summarize the state of affairs.


If you are an adult child, chances are one day you may manage the "Goat Rodeo" of your parents’ estate.  There may be a trust, a will, nothing at all.  Documents may have been written 25 years earlier, designed and mandated to follow outdated tax codes.  No will?  No worries, a distribution plan is embedded in the state statutes where your parents lived/died.  You will quickly learns the ins and outs of this plan.  If you have sibling, prepare yourself for a flash back to the fights you had as tweens (was that even a word when you were a tween, most likely not).  Bottom line -- accept today that you will one day manage a "Goat Rodeo", and then go on about your life.  Your parents’ estate plan is their estate plan.  It is not yours to create, change, tweak -- just manage it, Goat Rodeo or not. For now, enjoy the time you have with your parents - time passes quickly.

Image taken by author at a petting zoo, not a Goat Rodeo

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

'Tis A Gift To Be Simple.....And When It Is Not.

It never fails.  New clients walk into my office and sit down for our first meeting of the estate planning process.  Once the initial hellos are finished and the legal services agreement reviewed and signed, we get down to business.  Nine times out of ten I hear "oh, this will be simple, we are a solid middle class family." Instantly this Shaker song pops into my mind (one I adore and delight in signing at our UU church).


The song makes me smile, such a happy little ditty.  The client(s) is smiling, thinking this will be simple because they do not have tons of assets, just the normal amount of a normal person or couple here in the heart of the Midwest.

A glance at their questionnaire and the tune fades from my mind, replaced by something for chaotic. Something more ominous.  Something that is anything but simple. Something along these lines:


Why the change in background music?  It's simple really.  Money is not what makes estate planning complex, life circumstances make it simple or complex.

Me: I see it is a second marriage for both of you, and that there are three children from one side and two from the other.  Correct?

Client: Why yes, is that a problem?

Me: Not a problem, but certainly not simple.

Or

Me: You've been together for 18 years, never married, she has a son from a prior marriage.  Correct?

Client: Yes, is that a problem?

Me: Not a problem, but we have some issues to explore.

These are what estate planners call Blended Families, and they are not as easy to plan for as the squares in the Brady Bunch boxes might make it appear.  They are complex situations.  What happens when the first spouse dies?  It passes to the survivor, but then where?  Locking in plan to the kids requires a trust most likely, and with that, simple burst like a balloon on a 98 degree day.


Sadly, single with no children does not guarantee simplicity either.

Me: Your questionnaire indicates that you wish to leave your entire estate to eight nieces and nephews for their college education.  And you want to make sure expenses for your three poodles are paid for after your death.  Correct?

Client: Yes, is that hard to do?

Me: Not necessarily hard, but a simple will cannot accomplish these goals.  You'll need a will with trusts -- plural, one for the college funds and one for the dogs.

Who is simple might you wonder?

Me: I see that you are married with two adult children.  There is a combined net work of $3.7 million.  You want everything to go to the surviving spouse, and upon his/her death, equally to the children.  Correct?

Client: Yes, does the net worth create problems?

Me: No, you are under the federal estate tax and it appears that a simple will might be all you need.

Life -- it is always throwing us for a loop.

Monday, July 7, 2014

What Do You Mean She Did Not Survive? Survivorship in the World of Estate Planning

Without fail, every week or so a client will give me the look.  Akin to Gary Coleman on Different Strokes, what I call "the Wathcha' Talkin' About Willis? face.  You remember, this one:



Behind the look is an air of confusion, annoyance and frustration.  These are the type of conversations that place unfavorable adjectives in front of the title lawyer.  Case in point:

Client: My wife died on Sunday, her sister died Thursday, so my wife outlived her and is the beneficiary of the sister's IRA.

Attorney: Well, your wife died after her sister, but she may not have actually survived her, it depends.

Client: [intent pause, brow wrinkles, and they are clearly holding back the statement -- now I thought you were suppose to be smart, you went to law school, and now your tellin' me that my wife did not survive her sister, come on, pay attention] -- what? is the question they toss my way.

Attorney: In the world of estate planning we have a concept called survivorship, it requires an heir to outlive the decedent by a certain amount of time in order to actually live long enough to inherit.  If they die too soon, they are considered to have predeceased and the asset passes as though they had died before the decedent.

Client: what?

Attorney: the thought is that you want your assets to pass to another person, but control what happens if they die before you.....or too soon after you.

Client: okay, so how long did my wife have to outlive her sister?

Attorney: that depends on the situation.

Client: Are you kidding me! Can't you give me a firm answer?

Attorney: No.  In Wisconsin the statutes require an heir to outlive the decedent by 120 hours (5 days) before inheriting, unless a will sets a different time frame such as 30, 60 or 90 days.  But this is an IRA, which is non-probate property, meaning the contract with the financial services company controls.  We need to know, under the contract, what time frame applies.  Do you have a copy of the contract?

Client: No, why would I, it belonged to her sister.

Attorney: Can you get one from the company -- you are a suspected heir since you survived your wife.

Client: [Head falls into their hands] -- why does this have to be so hard?

Attorney: I'm sorry that it is, but I can try to make this easier for you. There is a reason I keep Frango Mints in the waiting room, everyone needs a treat after talking with a lawyer about illness, death and taxes.

Lessons learned: 1) dying second does not necessarily mean a person stands to inherit under a will or beneficiary form.  Timing will likely play a key role.  Did the 2nd to die live long enough after the 1st to actually inherit.  2) hard copies of financial agreements can save countless hours for loved ones left behind to sort out the path an asset will take after death.

Monday, June 9, 2014

It Was Her Wish

"Are you kidding me, it's in the Bible......follow the dying person's last wish!"  It is not often that my husband invokes the Bible, he is an atheist after all.  But when he does, he is serious, and he is expressing the fact something is ancient.  Not just some new trendy idea -- it dates back to biblical times.

We had been discussing the fallout of my mother's memorial service. Yes, such an event can have fallout. And from my vantage point of an estate planning and probate attorney, I can tell you that it happens more often than not.  But here I was, the daughter, not the attorney, in the mini-drama surrounding her final wishes. Thankfully that legal education of mine fortified my backbone, allowing me to stand tall and carry out her wishes, despite the descent of her grieving relatives.

With no uncertain terms, she had clearly expressed her wishes to me from the passenger seat of my Honda Civic.  Sick for many years, we often found ourselves with me driving her home following a hospital discharge. Both aware that her health was declining and that we are all human. Eventually her time would come.

I broached the topic with "I know you don't want to think about these types of things, but if something should happen, would you want a service like the one we did for dad?" First came the sideways glare, and then (I can quote her here) “I don't want nothin' in the god damned church in Brooklyn. I married my first husband (my dad was her second husband) there, and that is where they buried my baby....without me being there. No! I have no happy memories of that place. Do it at the church you go with with the kids, FUS. And I hate my picture, so don't do one of those silly poster boards plastered all over the place. Hmmmh” And that was that, she looked forward and we proceeded home.

Over the years I revisited the topic, wanting to make sure I knew her wishes. And the answer was always the same. Had she been a client, I would have advised her to put her wishes in writing through Wisconsin's Authorization for Final Disposition. But she was mom, and that piece of paperwork was never completed. Her final day on earth was February 16, 2014, a Sunday. The following Monday I contacted the minister at FUS and began setting in motion her plan, her wishes.


It would be a memorial service, not a funeral. It would be held at the First Unitarian Society in Madison, not the Methodist church in Brooklyn where so many other funerals for the family had occurred. It would be several months after her death, not in a few days. It would be her wishes, not the boiler plate funeral of prior generations. We all grieve in our own ways. Communications with her relatives are strained if not severed. She was my mom, and I followed her wish. My question to you dear reader, is what is your wish and who can make sure it happens? The time will come, we just do not know when.


Monday, June 2, 2014

Mary and Baby Jesus Planter Finds a New Home: Tales From the Land of TPP

My phone chimed, indicating a new Facebook alert. Quick downward swipe of my fore finger and there it was, notice that the Mary and Baby Jesus planter had a new home! Relieved, a smile enveloped my face knowing that: one, I managed to keep this item out of a landfill; and, two, a piece of my mom and dad would live on in the home of neighbors who know the meaning of “it takes a village”. The expression “you cannot take it with you” has never had more impact on me than it did at the moment I read that comment. You die, but your stuff remains. And then the question, where will it all go?

Her final breath came on a Sunday, two days after Valentine's Day. One audible exhale akin to sinking into a warm bath, and my mother's earthly days came to an end. It took a few moments for the reality to sink in. She was gone. Both of my parent's were now gone. At age 40 I was an orphan. Sobs finally arrived, having been stoic during her final months, as her body clearly shut down but not her spirit. The polar vortex of 2014 held on firmly that month, and not until its release in late Spring was I able to tackle the TPP.

The what you ask? The TPP. Not only am I her daughter, but I am her estate planning and probate attorney / daughter. TPP is the lingo we use in my line of work to refer to her stuff. Her items, anything from a wedding ring to piano. And after the initial waves of grief washed over me, with the memorial service behind me, and her ashes comfortably settled in the plot next to my dad, was I able to fully face the reality of emptying the ranch house at 1121 Valley Stream Dr. Their abode for 38 years, one that held family heirlooms, garage sale finds that may or may not be antiques worthy of Antiques Roadshow, 8th grade insect collections, bag upon bag of canceled checks from the auto business they owned in the 1970s to 1990s, and mildewed junk that should have been tossed decades earlier. It was a new mountain to face.

The Unitarian Universalist in me advocated for recycling as much stuff as possible. “Empty the jars of applesauce from 1979 and keep those canning jars out of the landfill”, the voice in my head would shout! Another voice, the frugal one, saw value, even minute value in each item. Hey, I could sell this for $2 on Craigs List. And then there was the exhausted lawyer who happens to be a wife of a business owner and mother of a 5 and 3 year old arguing for the most time-efficient manner for emptying the house and getting it market-ready.

It was a mixture of all three who prevailed in emptying the house. Lessons I walked away with were:
  1. Hire someone with time and drive to post items on Craigs List, offering them 50% of the earnings. Requirement, you must trust the person. I am amazed at what a little motivation can do to empty a home – and what others are willing to buy!
  2. Know when to call in the Pros and pay for their expertise. When the basement tiles and adhesive tested positive for asbestos the “country club” ways of my husband kicked in. We hired a firm, bonded and licensed to address the mess. An email requesting me to mail a key said “part of my fee is to make this as easy for you as possible”. To which I simply wrote, “thank you”;
  3. Donate to charity. Yes, I'd be happy to take a tax deduction for 2014 on the TPP I inherited. Pack it, load it and drop it off, or call for a pick-up. Either way, get a receipt for the CPA; and
  4. Give it away. Save your time and the earth, list it for free. I spent very little time hauling items out of the basement, set them outside the garage and listed them (with photos) on social media. People love something for free, and wow did things relocate.
Rehoming the TPP is now complete.  The Mary and Baby Jesus planter now resides in the sunroom of the neighbors who cared so much, and I am ready to move on to the next phase in this life cycle event.  


Monday, May 26, 2014

Memorial Day & In Flanders Field

It's May 26, 2014, Memorial Day here in the United States.  Symbolized by vibrant poppies, it is a day to pause and remember those who have their life in battle for the values American's hold dear.  Today I will be with my family, enjoying the start of summer customs but also taking a moment to reflect.  With children just shy of age 6 and 4, I plan to share with them this poem, from with the symbol of poppy grew, I leave you with a reading of In Flanders Fields.