What I’ve Been Reading: Let’s Talk About Aging Parents: a real-life guide to solving problems with 27 essential conversations by Laura Tamblyn Watts

What I’ve Been Reading: Let’s Talk About Aging Parents: a real-life guide to solving problems with 27 essential conversations by Laura Tamblyn Watts

February 18, 2025

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

“Ahhhh, Mom….why are you reading a book about aging parents?” asked my observant 14 year old.  With her head tilted just so she added “....um you know we don’t have grandparents, right, you “k”?”  Rather than be frustrated with my teenager for pointing out the obvious and conveying with her eyes a concern about my possible dementia, I classified the moment as one in which my child’s maturity is starting to deepen.  The simple “k” being her way of saying “mom, are you doing okay?”  Smiling, I reminded her that I often read books for work to find ones my clients might enjoy.  Well aware that we have no “aging parents” on either branch of our family tree, I still picked up a copy of Let’s Talk About Aging Parents: a real-life guide to solving problems with 27 essential conversations by Laura Tamblyn Watts at our local library.

Book, tea, and more books.

True to its title, the book presents 27 chapters, each addressing a discrete topic covering a wide and realistic range of issues.  From how safe a home is to legal documents to addressing drinking problems of the elderly, the book is easy to read and offers a variety of conversation starters.  Most of us either have an elderly loved one in our family circle or may be ourselves the aging person others care about; either way, most readers can read this book and finish with a few useful tools and things to think about.

What stood out to me the most was the book's approach to the reality of life.  How to approach thorny conversations that reflect modern life is the biggest asset of this book.  For me (who lost both of her parents at a relatively young age due to alcoholism) I appreciate how the book addresses the issue of elderly drinking.  A reality of life in many homes, but one not portrayed on Thursday night sit-coms.  

If I had to point to a weakness in the book, which any solid book review should do, I would say it was the section on estate planning documents.  The reader is left feeling like they could and or should guide their parents through the process of setting up powers of attorney, a will, and or trust.  From where I sit as an estate planning and probate attorney, I find this problematic. An ideal situation for me is to hear directly from a client who wants to create or update an estate plan; I do not want the child to contact me saying “my parent needs to do work with you.”  The appearance of undue influence is so easily created by an overly helpful child trying to get paperwork in order.  Keep that in mind as you work to assist your parent, but not cross the line into taking over.

All in all, I think most readers will enjoy this book.  My favorite take away are here 3 rules: keep moving, but never rush; ask for help if needed; and stay hydrated.  This is the perfect example of her easy to embrace suggestions for navigating life with an older loved one.  

My 14 year old.....before the more mature side kicked in.

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