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Last week I had a great phone conversation with someone who had attended a seminar of mine in the past. The caller was exploring long-term care options, and we have a very enjoyable conversation about the pros, cons, and unknowns (that is an entirely different article from this post).  The caller raised a key question when updating or creating an estate plan " who do I know who is savvy enough to understand this long-term care contract, because if it comes into play, I'm not healthy enough to advocate for myself? " Excellent question.  All too often I see people with a knee-jerk response to the question who do you want to list as your agent on the power of attorney for finance.   My son, because he is the oldest or my sister, because if I do not she'll nag me until the day I die -- all things I have heard from clients.  And in my opinion insufficient.  If you are too sick to make your financial decisions, who in your circle of family or friends has the...

Estate planning essentially answers who and what questions.  Who will be in charge when you are either to sick to act or have died, and what will happen to your assets.  One of the top five questions clients pose during meetings is "can I name someone other than a family member?"  Without hesitation, my answer is "yes, it is about taking control, name who is right for the job."  What follows is a discussion of the skill set needed to be an agent under a power of attorney for health, or finance, or a personal representative for a will.  However, before we get to that discussion I encourage you to pause and ask -- who is your family? Asked to define family, I would say they are the people who share your life.  They are there for celebrations, for mourning, and the mundane.  On the other hand, relatives share your DNA or a branch on a family tree. Sometimes relatives can also be family, but not always.  Before instinctively naming your br...

With my mother dying this past February, the topic of talking to children about death and dying has been on my mind.  And it is a topic that sometimes comes up in the office.  When the book What Do We Tell The Children? Talking to kids about death and dying by Joseph M. Primo arrived on my hold shelf at our local library I was eager for some advice. Primo is the executive director of Good Grief, Inc, a nonprofit in New Jersey.  He holds a divinity degree and is a former hospice chaplain.  Consisting of eight chapters and just under 130 pages, it is an approachable book.  The reader is drawn in by Primo's own story of his first experience of death; he was a teen when an aunt died suddenly at a family gathering.  His story highlights how society used to talk to children about death -- essentially not at all. The book then continues much in the style of a memoir, pulling from stories during his time with hospice and then Good Grief, Inc.  As a...

Image from www.sxc.hu, # 921217 Imagine a car is traveling on the interstate, heading out for a much needed Spring Break.  At the wheel is a newly minted driver, 16 year old Todd.  In the passenger seat is his proud mother Sharon, navigating the GPS instructions taking them to the Sunshine State for some good times.  At home remains Todd's pet dog Tuffy, left in the care of his father, Ted, the ex-husband of Sharon.  In the blink of an eye a tire flies off a passing vehicle.  The inexperienced Todd over-corrects and a violent collision occurs.  When rescue crews arrive Sharon is declared dead on the scene.   Todd is airlifted to the nearest trauma hospital where he dies. What happens to Sharon's estate? If she did not have a will, state statute controls.  Here in Wisconsin her probate estate would pass to her son as long as he outlived her by 120 hours.  Should Todd die the following day, he would not have survived and Sharon's es...