Beyond the Will: Weddings, Father’s Day, and Estate Planning for Our History
Beyond the Will: Weddings, Father’s Day, and Estate Planning for Our History
By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi
June 19, 2026
The third weekend in June brings a unique collision of energy. We are right in the thick of the summer wedding season—a time of new beginnings, crisp tuxedos, and beautiful white gowns. At the exact same time, we pause to honor Father’s Day, a moment to reflect on the men who shaped our families and the legacies they left behind. For me, this specific time of year always brings back a memory of a unique choice I had to make years ago.
After both of my parents had passed away, I found myself doing what so many of my clients eventually have to do: sorting through a lifetime of accumulated belongings. Among the boxes and heirlooms was my great-grandfather’s wedding suit. It was a beautiful, historic piece of our family fabric, but it faced a common question "what can I do with this that is meaningful?" I didn't want it to eventually end up on the racks of a thrift store or have it slowly decay in the back of a closet. Acting on a bit of a whim, I picked up the phone and called the Swedish American Museum in Chicago. Would they be able to use it somehow? "Yes" was their resounding response.
I packed up the wedding suit, along with a photograph of my great-grandfather proudly wearing it, and drove to Chicago. The curators told me something fascinating: while historic museums have a plentiful supply of beautifully preserved wedding dresses, intact groom suits are quite rare. It warms my heart to know that this piece of our family history moved out of the dark and into a place of honor, where it is now used for historical research and public display.
This experience taught me a vital lesson that I often share in my work as an estate planning and probate attorney: we need to think creatively about our tangible legacy. When people sit down to plan an estate, the focus is almost always on bank accounts, real estate, and digital assets. But the physical items—the old tools, the vintage clothing, the unique collections—often cause the most emotional distress for families trying to wind down an estate.
If you are currently holding onto family treasures out of guilt, or if you are planning your own estate and wondering what will happen to your unique items, remember that your family members don’t have to be the sole curators of your history. Consider these creative alternatives:
- Museums and Historical Societies: Local, regional, or cultural museums (like the Swedish American Museum) are often thrilled to receive specific, well-preserved artifacts that tell a cultural story.
- Specialized Archives: University libraries, military museums, or even local theater groups frequently look for authentic vintage items.
- The "Photo and Pass" Method: Take a high-quality photograph of the item to keep in a family memory album, and let the physical item go to a home where it will actually be used or displayed.
Sorting through the physical reminders of those we love is never easy. Dealing with an estate isn't just a matter of legal paperwork; it is an emotional process of deciding how to honor the lives behind the items. This Father’s Day weekend, as we celebrate the fathers and grandfathers who came before us, I challenge you to look at the family heirlooms you are currently housing and ask if there is something you can share with the world.
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| Image by M. Gustafson Gervasi 2026 |
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