9 Things to Mention When Writing Instructions to a Trustee for Children

9 Things to Mention When Writing Instructions to a Trustee for Children

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

September 22, 2021

With a flourish you date the document and scrawl your signature on the line hovering above your name typed in Times New Roman font.  You drop the pen, sit back, let out a breath and say "we'll, I'm glad that is done".  In that moment you have created (or updated) your will.  Your children, age 13 and 11, now have legally appointed guardians if you and your spouse were to die.  The document also creates a trust fund to hold assets for the kids if they are orphaned before the youngest is age 30 (an age you set).  You are ready to cross "draft a will" off of your to-do list and get back to living life!

It's true. The will is dated and signed (hopefully in accordance with the witnessing requirements of your home state), but is it really ready-to-go? If both you and your spouse were hit by the proverbial bus on your way home, would the trustee you nominated in your will really understand how you meant for the money to be spent?  They can guess.  But you can also push just a bit harder and make it all easier by recording some of your thoughts and intentions.  

If you want a will that really does as much as it can to ease the cost and suffering of an untimely death, I suggest your buy yourself a pumpkin spiced latte, microbrew, or a heart healthy glass of red wine and work through these 9 points.  

1. Investment.  Do you have a preference on what assets of yours are liquidated?  Should some assets, such as a home or stock be held in the trust and not sold;
2. If you have more than one child.  What if your older child is done with college and that expense has been covered, but you have a senior in high school facing four years of large tuition.  How would the trust be used?
3. Daily Lifestyle.  Do you think the trust should pay for your tween's cell phone and data?  What about your child's passion for tennis or guitar?  How should trust fund monies be used to pay for daily living and hobbies?
4. Education.  Most people would say "yes, use the trust to pay for education".  What is "education"?  Is it tuition, transportation, dorm fees, computer equipment, tutor fees, test prep services?  
5. Travel.  It might be obvious that the funds should be used to continue a life focused on travel.  But what about the trust paying for extended family to travel to visit a young child?  For example, should the trust pay for Grandma to fly from Baltimore, Maryland to visit a 3 year-old grandchild in Madison, Wisconsin?
6. Family Traditions and Values.  Ask yourself if the trust monies should support long-held family values, such as annual summer camp at a religious or secular facility.
7. Holidays and Gifts.  How, if at all, should the trustee you trust monies to pay for gifts and celebrations associated with holidays and birthdays.
8. Milestones.  What is your opinion on trust fund resources being used to buy a car when a child turns 16 or marries at 23 or wants help with a down payment on a first house?
9. Restrictions.  Do not overlook the question of things you do NOT want the trust to pay for, such as a cult your teenager has recently discovered or activities that could be funded by an adult child working or a minor child using Social Security Survivor Benefits.

Buses in Panama City, Panama. M. Gustafson Gervasi 2019