Stop the Fights Before They Start: Planning for 7 Sentimental Thanksgiving Heirlooms

Stop the Fights Before They Start: Planning for 7 Sentimental Thanksgiving Heirlooms

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

November 7, 2025

November winds will blow in cold weather this weekend; flurries are possible here in Madison on Sunday. As the temperatures drop, my attention at home has turned to mapping out plans for our family’s Thanksgiving holiday. The big day will be here in a blink of an eye.  For those of us who put thought, care and planning into this annual meal, I encourage you to build in some extra time to think about the bigger Thanksgiving picture.

While large financial assets are covered in a will or trust, small tangible personal property—like holiday heirlooms—often goes unaddressed. These items, despite low monetary value, often cause the most intense family disputes.  Grief can surface in unpredictable ways, do your best to prevent family fights over your tangible possessions and make a plan for the long run.  Specifically consider the following items that may have special meaning for your loved ones at Thanksgiving (or other holidays and celebrations):

1. The Dinner Table (or the Leaf Set):  Perhaps it is marked and stained from the toddler years, the actual table you gather around may hold immense emotional value to your loved ones. 

2. The Traditional Linens (Tablecloth and Napkins): Perhaps they were gifted to you at your wedding, purchased while traveling abroad, or a fantastic find at a thrift shop, tablecloths, runners, napkins and other linens are often associated with special holidays and family traditions. 

3. The Special Serving Dishes and Plates: Many people may think about an antique gravy boat, the ceremonial turkey platter, or specific set of china used once a year.  Personally, my great-grandmother’s collection of unique salt and pepper shakers comes to mind.  These may be things you overlook, but through the eyes of a child they can serve as a connection to the older generations in a family tree.

4. The Handwritten Recipes and Cookbooks: Faded to the point I can hardly read it anymore, I treasure my mom’s recipe card for Cinnamon Moons.  While she passed away in 2014, this index card joins me every year during the holiday season.  Consider how fragile these handwritten recipes will become and consider updating them or putting them in digital format. 

5. The Cooking Utensils (Rolling Pin or Pie Dish): Perhaps it is the rolling pin that belonged to your grandmother or the mixing dish used by your grandfather or, like in my house, my mom’s collection of cookie cutters – these are all family heirlooms that may have little to no monetary value, but hold a large amount of sentimental value. 

6. The Traditional Holiday Apron: A simple piece of cloth, often stained but associated with the warmth and work of the cook/host, it can symbolize the passing of the torch.  Consider who in your circle of family and friends shares your love of cooking. 

7. The Sentimental Decorations (e.g., Centerpieces): Think beyond the generic Fall decor you may pull out this time of year, and consider if there is anything particularly unique.  In our house I would nominate my Fall Gnome collection.  Both kids know how I love a “good gnome” and they are a nod to my Scandinavian heritage. 

Many state statutes allow you to create a separate inventory form to dispose of your personal tangible property.  Rather than listing these items in your will, your will references this inventory form.  It is often a simple and flexible tool to direct precious items to your loved ones.  Don't let your Thanksgiving traditions become the source of conflict. Take control today and put together a plan to keep the love flowing during the holidays for decades to come. 

Prior to The Big Meal our family completes a Thanksgiving 5K -- it's tradition!

Thank you for reading.  Remember that a blog is not legal advice; it is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Please seek legal counsel from an attorney licensed in your state of residence for guidance specific to your situation. If you found this post helpful, consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform.  Be well, and enjoy the holidays!