From The Headlines: Famous Actors Die Without a Will

From the Headlines: Famous Actors Die Without a Will

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

December 29, 2020

The year 2020 stoked our awareness of immortality.  The entire world became painfully aware that even the young, strong and healthy could fall victim to Coivd-19.  Yet, while there was a spike for estate planning services, 62 percent of Americans still do not have a will.  And it is not just the average American without these essential documents; the wealthy and famous are members of this group of procrastinators.  

At age 43, Chadwick Boseman (most recently known for his role as The Black Panther) died after a several year battle with cancer.  He died without an estate plan.  Then on November 27, 2020, Tony Hsieh (age 46) died due to smoke inhalation.  He also died far too young, and without an estate plan.

Intestate, when you die without a will, means that state legislation and a judge's oversight will dictate where your probate property will go.  Probate property is anything you own with no co-owner or named beneficiary.  Not creating a plan is likely not caused by a lack of resources, even Prince, who died in 2016, who took extreme legal measures to protect his music died with no estate plan.

So why the lack of action?

• believing you are too young to die
• thinking you'll dodge death by not planning for it
• avoiding the unpleasant topic of your demise
• having no clue where to even start wrapping your mind around the topic

Does the reason for avoidance really matter?  The point is, make a plan and take control.  Read more about the artists mentioned here and you'll uncover a trove of information about excessive taxes, family infighting, and wishes that never materialized.  As we welcome the New Year, consider where the proper place on your To-Do-List the task "create (or update) an estate plan" should fall.

Thanks for reading.  Remember that a blog is not legal advice; it is meant to spark thought and discussion.  Always seek legal counsel from an attorney licensed in your state of residence for advice specific to your situation.  Best wishes for 2021.

A North Star in Estate Planning

 A North Star in Estate Planning

December 24, 2020

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

Estate planning attorneys spend a lot of time listening to their clients, or at least they should.  I use a flat-fee system with my estate planning clients. Doing so gives them the freedom to talk without one eye on the clock, fearful of the almighty billable hour.  And talk they do.  Telling one story here, expressing a concern there, circling back to a fact they overlooked.  During our first meeting to talk I have a completed client questionnaire, but the conversation breathes much more life into the clients wishes than a few sheets of paper.

Quite often a client will open up to me which allows me to see that the client has several priorities.  This can be problematic.  Priority, defined means one thing is more important than other things.  When you have multiple priorities in estate planning the path to final documents can be convoluted, overwhelming, and sometimes impassable. When this situation develops in a meeting I mention the role of a North Star.

The North Star, also known as Polaris, has been used as a navigational tool since antiquity.  It is said that when you locate the North Star, you know where you are headed.  Finding your "North Star" when doing an estate plan forces you to isolate what is most important, and guide you towards that point.

From "simplicity" to "dead hand control" to "tax efficiency" there are many motivators behind a client updating or creating an estate plan.  From my side of the desk, narrowing the focus to one top priority often allows a plan to unfold neatly for a client.  This may be the difference between a client growing frustrated and giving up and a client smoothly sailing to a final meeting to sign an estate plan.

Thank you for reading.  A blog is meant to spark conversation, and should not be taken as legal advice.  Please work with a licensed attorney in your area for advice specific to your situation.

It's The House With The Creepy Santa -- Estate planning during a pandemic

 It's The House With The Creepy Santa -- Estate planning during a pandemic

December 18, 2020

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

Pivot.  It may be "the word" of 2020.  And pivot we did.  Being and estate planning and probate attorney during a global pandemic has been challenging, rewarding, and ever changing.  When I started my practice in 2005, I never imagined that in my 15th year of solo practice I would be holding client meetings outdoors at my home office with my spouse as the witness.  Yet, that has become a reality.  I pivoted away from a conference room, offers of fresh coffee, witnessing by my administrative staff, and closing with a Frango Mint to go.  Instead I now commonly say ".....go North on Whitney Way through the intersection of Whitney and Mineral Point Rd., then make a U-turn at Marathon.  Go about 10 houses South on Whitney.  Our house is the white ranch with a yellow front door and a creepy 1980s (possibly older) plastic Santa Claus."  This is how I currently give directions to clients with in-person meetings.  

Back at Thanksgiving when we put up our holiday lights I forgot that our front yard had become my alfresco office, so appropriately coined by a client who visited in last Summer.  We have a simple display.  Green lights around the front and garage door as well as our Little Free Library.  There is a Rudolph spinning in the wind while he rides a bike.  It was a nod towards my husband's commitment to commuting via bike.  And then there was Santa.  Standing nearly 5 feet tall he is made of that hard, indestructible plastic of my childhood.  I cannot remember a year without this Santa standing in my parents' front yard.  When both of them had passed and I emptied their home, Santa stayed with me rather than being donated.  Santa was not really my style, but he was my parents.  

My children, now 12 and 10, have little to no memory of my parents who died in 2009 and 2014, but they know this Santa was Grandma and Grandpas.  And they LOVE it despite the crack in one arm and the fact you need to prop him up with a garden stake or he will fall and possibly blow down the road. 

When a home is cleared out as the result of a move or a death, I urge you to pause for a moment or two and ask "what here captures the spirit of [insert name of your loved one]?"  In retrospect I may have tossed, donated or recycled too much of my parents' personal items.  It was a massive job following 10 years of their declining health, and I was stressed.  I wanted it to be done.  Knowing what I know now, you may want to consider:

• look around your home and make gifts out of family heirlooms, keepsakes, and special items;
• determine what items capture family tradition - dishes, cookie cutters, table coverings, etc. and make plans about who those should go to when you are done with them;
• note the story behind the item -- I bought this necklace during our trip to Iceland; this was my great-grandmother's needle point, you gave this to me as a mother's day gift when you were in Kindergarten.  

Creepy Santa, as he has become to be called, will continue to have a place in our holiday decorations for years to come. He does not fit into the "classic" holiday decorations that adorn so many houses in our area.  While those may be stunning, they could easily be any house in any holiday magazine.  Our abode is unique and easy to spot thanks to Creepy Santa.

Best wishes for a safe and peaceful winter holiday season.

Thank you for reading.  Remember that a blog aims to spark conversation and should not be taken for legal advice.  Please consult a licensed attorney in your home state for advice specific to your situation.

Planning for the Unexpected

 Planning for the Unexpected

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

November 2020

Earlier this week I was reading my Google News Feed when an article caught my attention.  My heart broke reading every word of a story about a young mother who died due to complications from a pregnancy.  She left behind a large family with very young children who now relied solely on their father for support.  One sentence jumped out for me, causing my head to tilt to one side -- a habit I have when I come across a piece of information that seems "off".  The sentenced went something like this -- "because her death was unexpected there was no life insurance in place."

I believe the true take-away from the story of this mother who died far too young is that we all need to plan for the unexpected.  That belief is the cornerstone of my estate planning practice.  Life happens, it twists, turns, and bucks like a rodeo horse.  Creating an estate plan (a will, powers of attorney, etc.) assumes that one day the unexpected will happen and we have a plan for it when it does arrive.

None of us will escape death.  That is a fact.  We really just do not know when our time will come.  As we enter a season of gift giving, consider creating or updating an estate plan so that your loved ones have a roadmap for the unexpected.  A plan will likely reduce the financial and emotional expense your loved ones will experience.

The day a wind storm knocked down 1/3 of a 70 year old tree, unexpectedly. 

Be well, stay safe, and thanks for reading.  Remember, a blog is not legal advice.  It is meant to be a starting point for thought and reflection.  Please consult with an estate planning and probate attorney in your state of residence for advice specific to your unique life situation.  

Poetry in Estate Planning: Exploring control

 

Control: An Acrostic Poem

By

Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

November 5, 2020

Not only are my children expanding their knowledge though the Madison Metropolitan School District's virtual learning this year, their daily recounts of classroom activities sparks many a memory for me.  Most recently the topic was poetry, specifically 5th graders studying Acrostic Poetry.  This writing style takes a word, such as November, and uses each letter to describe November.  My elementary school days ended in the early 1980s, however, my creative spirit survived my legal education.  Here is my attempt at an acrostic poem, for CONTROL, a concept at the heart of estate planning. 

Create documents that take effect

On your death

No uncertainties left

Take no chances

Record your wishes

Outlined on paper in a

Legally binding manner

Death and taxes are two certainties of our lives.  Why take chances when you can take control.  Estate planning may be a fancy sounding term, one for those with a seven-figure net worth, but it is for everyone.  Your plan may not look like the estate plan for a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, but it will plan for three things: illness, death and taxes.  The heart of estate planning is taking control over these three topics.  If you are 18 or older, estate planning is for you.

Thank you for reading.  Please remember a blog post is not legal advice, but rather a prompt for thought and discussion.  It is recommended that you consult a licensed attorney in your state of residence for advice specific to your situation.

"Trick or Treating" in Estate Planning -The Lesson of Francis Ogden

 "Trick of Treating" in Estate Planning - The Lesson of Francis Ogden

October 30, 2020

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

In a hushed whisper my 10 year old daughter called me over to the school desk she uses for remote learning.  "Hey mom, listen to this....it's about a guy who wrote fake wills".  Intrigued by the subject matter, one that squarely falls into my wheelhouse (unlike the advanced math both of kids are taking), I stepped out of work mode and into 5th grader curiosity.

A round of applause is needed for the Madison Metropolitan School District for making the annual 5th Grade Field Trip to the historic Forest Hills Cemetery here in Madison a reality.  Due to Covid19, the field trip this year was virtual, and allowed me to join in on the lessons.

I had never heard of Francis Ogden before.  He moved to Madison in the mid 1800s, and grew a financial empire in real estate and oil holdings in Texas.  Known as the richest man in town, he left Madison after a few spats with the City of Madison over their rejection of land he offered to donate for a library (they did not care for the location) and regulations surrounding his hotel, The Ogden Hotel.  Claiming he had had enough of Madison, he moved to Texas.

Known as an eccentric man, he fed that reputation by taking on a new habit while living in Texas.  Apparently he enjoyed writing wills, in pencil, without witnessing and handing them out to various people including relatives (he never married and had no children) as well as people he had just met, promising them his riches.  When he died many people came forward with those pencil written wills seeking to inherit. He thought he had had the last laugh.

The video fails to tell is what happened to his estate.  My guess, Texas State Statutes (where he was a resident) controlled is intestate estate, likely distributing the assets to his closets living relatives.  But that's a guess.  In the end, his tricks turned on him.  Estate planning is about taking control of who is in charge and where assets go.  Upon his death, Ogden's Wisconsin relatives opted to have him buried at Forest Hills Cemetery, in the heart of the city he despised and moved away from, giving him the cheapest monument possible at the time -one made of zinc.  Writing a valid will is about taking control of the what and the who.  Sadly, Odgen's games landed him back in Madison, for perpetuity. 

Check out this video put together by Wisconsin's Veterans Museum for its Talk Spirits Tour.

What I've Been Reading: Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? Big questions from tiny mortal about death

What I've Been Reading: Will My Cat East My Eyeballs? Big questions from tiny mortal about death

Written by Caitlin Doughty

What do you get when you combine kids' questions about death with a mortician -- Will My Cat East My Eyeballs? Big questions from tiny mortal about death.  This quick read consists of just over 30 questions posed my kids along with Doughty's answer.  Most of the Q&As run about 3 to 4 pages long, and are written in a cheeky manner.

Questions range from the very macabre to pure silly:

When I die, will my cat eat my eyeballs?

Will I poop when I die?

Can I use human bones from a cremation as jewelry?

Personally I found the blunt answers to questions disturbing, especially the description of cremation.  Both of my parents are deceased and I made the arrangements for their cremation.  I'd say the process is similar to sausages, I appreciate the end product but would prefer to be spared the details. 

If you enjoy movies or shows with forensic science or are an 8th grade science teacher, you may find this book to be enjoyable and or useful.  Or if you need a unique way to experience fright this Halloween, in the midst of a pandemic, this may be the book for you.

The Teacher Within: Procrastination and Estate Planning

 The Teacher Within: Procrastination and Estate Planning

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

October 2020

September of this year ushered in a new chapter in my life, being the parent of a middle schooler.  Our oldest child launched his 6th grade year (virtually), bringing with it my own memories of educational growth.  Some things are different -- he is in "computers" class, in my youth it was just "typing".  Yet, some things remain the same.  The Covid 19 Pandemic has allowed me a window into his classrooms, specifically his teachers' advice.  With middle school comes longer term assignments, and hence the lecture on procrastination. A constant lecture on the educational path. 

Defined as "delay or postpone action; put off doing something", he is learning that weekends pass quickly, Monday mornings loom, and he needs to make the time for his weekend music appreciation writing assignment.  Already he has felt the dread of a Sunday evening spent "working" rather than resting, and the bit of panic that comes with "what if it isn't done".

“Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” -Benjamin Franklin

We've all heard this quote multiple times in our lives.  Yet many of us put off unpleasant tasks when they could be crossed-off our to-do lists today.  This is fact I see day after day in my estate planning practice.  Often it would take a death in the family, cancer diagnosis, the birth of a child, and international travel to nudge a client through my office door.  In 2020 the largest nudge I have witnessed in my 15 years of practice has been Covid19.  From doctors to teachers to patients with chronic illnesses, estate planning is at the top of many "to-do" lists.  Thinking about creating, or updating, an estate plan is one thing.  Completing the task something entirely different.  

As I type the yellow, red, and orange leaves fall onto my driveway.  Cars zip passed, eager to start their Friday evening plans.  It's 80 in Madison on October 9th -- the outdoors calls.  But, we all know dark, rainy days, followed by plunging temps and snowfall are just around the corner.  If estate planning is a priority to you, do not fall victim to procrastination.  The winds are blowing.  Illnesses are increasing.  The flu is circulating.  And the local hospitals here are implementing visitor restrictions.  Once it was possible for a client to complete estate planning documents from the comfort of a hospital bed.  My own father was one of them.  The year 2020 is different.  Visitors are being restricted.  Your lawyer may not be allowed to see you.  Or, if you are allowed one person you may not have enough people to serve as a witness.  This is not hyperbolae.  Earlier in the year this was a fact.  Lawyers were denied entry to hospitals, re-hab facilities, hospice centers and senior living complexes.  Listen to Benjamin Franklin; if it is important to you, do it today, not tomorrow.

Thanks for reading.  May you stay safe and healthy as we move towards the end of 2020.  Remember, a blog is not legal advice.  It is a platform to spark discussion and reflection, nothing more.  It is essential you contact a lawyer in your home state for advice specific to your unique situation.  Be well. 

Reflections: 15th Anniversary of Being an Estate Planning & Probate Attorney

It was a Saturday.  The office web site went live.  My professional liability insurance policy kicked in.  I scheduled my first client meeting.  It was fifteen years ago, October 1, 2005, and my journey as a solo estate planning & probate attorney had begun.  

Over the decade and a half to follow, my days were filled with interesting legal questions and fact patterns.  Laws evolved, statutes were modified, courts shifted to online filings only.  The well from which I drew stories to illustrate concepts of estate planning & probate deepened. For example, a Personal Representative has the ability to "demolish or erect structures" in the course of a probate.  I had a case once where this power was needed; decedent had built a garage over the lot line and it needed to be torn down before the property could sell.  I have a lot of stories I can pull from to educate current clients, and I mean a lot.

None of this really surprised me.  Back in 2005 I anticipated building a wealth of knowledge in the subject area I decided to focus on. I assumed my career path would allow me to give seminars (I do, routinely), to teach (I have at the undergrad level), and even to write (in 2013 I released a small book on philanthropy).  But there was something I didn't see coming back when I went through the mechanics of setting up this practice.  Along with the graying hair, bouts of carpal tunnel, and an increased need for "my readers", I've learned how critical it is to sit down at a client meeting with open ears and a caring heart.

My clients are not textbook hypotheticals.  They are real people.  And they deserve a lawyer who has more than the mere mechanical tools of estate planning & probate.  They need a lawyer with a heart, one who cares, one who listens, and one who helps them navigate the terrain of illness and death.  More than once I have cried with a client grieving the death of a spouse; handed tissues to clients telling me how their child died, necessitating an update in their documents; and going to the hospital so a client in palliative care can sign her final papers.  

Looking back I can say that an estate planning & probate practice is far more than citations, processes, and official signings.  It is navigating another person through the sea of family dynamics, thorny relationships, and the reality that none of us are getting out of this alive.  It is far more rewarding than I could have ever imagined on that Saturday long ago.  

 

The Teacher Within: Channeling Debbie Downer (SNL)

The Teacher Within: Channeling Debbie Downer (SNL)
June 2020
Melinda Gustafson Gervasi, Attorney & Author

More often than not, in my legal counsel, I am the Debbie Downer in the meeting.  My role as teacher to my clients requires it at times.

Debbie Downer was a character on the NBC show Saturday Night Live played by actress Rachel Dratch who debuted in 2004.  The name "Debbie Downer" has become a slang phrase, meaning someone who frequently adds bad news and negative feelings to a gathering. In the end, she brings down the mood for everyone.

For example:

• Great, you want your estate to go to your children if both spouses have died -- what happens if your children predecease you?
• Who will you name as a back-up health care agent if both you and your primary agent are in a car crash together and s/he cannot act?
• What happens to your estate if neither your spouse nor any of your children/grandchildren survive you?
• Keeping a will at home is dangerous -- there are fires, floods, thieves walking off with your safe box, or a relative who reads it, disagrees, and tears it up.

And now I can add to the list -- don't overlook the chance your dog may eat and destroy your will.  Straight from the headlines -- a Texas Probate Judge hears a dispute about a missing will.  The decedent had three children from a prior relationship, and was married to a man that was not the father of her children. A daughter claims that a 2009 will, which gave the estate to the three children, was eaten and destroyed by the drafting attorney's dog (a 2 year-old Golden Doodle named Linus).  To complicate matters, the decedent made another will in 2003, leaving her assets to her husband.  And there you have it, a will dispute because the lawyer's dog is alleged to have eaten a will.  This is not made up.  It will linger in my mind until it comes up one day in a client meeting or seminar.  Plan for the worse case scenario.  You'll be thankful.  Apparently dogs don't just eat homework, but Last Wills & Testaments as well.

Remember, this blog generates ideas and conversations.  It is meant to be educational, and should not be taken as legal advice.  Please consult an attorney in your state of residence for legal advice specific to your situation. Thanks for reading. 

Keeping An Estate Plan Organized During Chaotic Times

Keeping An Estate Plan Organized During Chaotic Times
By Attorney Melinda Gustafson Gervasi
June 4, 2020

Estate planning to me is planning for three things: illness, death and taxes.  Not all estate plans look alike, but all should address these issues.  Your documents might include powers of attorney, beneficiary forms, authorization for burial, a will, and sometimes a trust.  But an estate plan goes beyond paperwork. Estate planning is the act of taking control. 

Control includes saying who will do what, and where assets will go. However, control extends beyond putting your wishes in a legal binding format. It includes controlling your paperwork.  What good is an estate plan if it cannot be found when it is needed?  If a sudden illness or death happened tomorrow, would your loved ones know where to find your documents?

A simple 3-ring binder clearly marked may serve you well.  Include subject dividers, but instead of saying math, science, and history, they would say:

• Powers of Attorney
• End-of-Life wishes
• Beneficiary Forms for your retirement, insurances, and or investments
• Will and or Trust
• Deed to your real estate
• Car Title(s)
• Phone numbers and emails of key people in your life: family members, primary care doctor; accountant; pet sitter; nanny; etc. 
• Copy of your most recent holiday card mailing address list
• Pre-written obituary or bullet points on key points
• List of recurring bills on autopay

Kindergarten Chaos After Teddy Bear Sleepover

Thank you for reading this educational piece.  Please do not take it for legal advice, as everyone’s situation is unique.

What I've Been Reading: Bye-Bye Toys: A story about giving

What I've Been Reading -- Bye-Bye Toys: A story about giving by Anisha Mack Blumenberg. Melinda Gustafson Gervasi
May 2020

Are you a parent of young children?  Do you tuck a child in a night hoping to leave the room without stubbing your toe or twisting an ankle on the cascade of toys, books, and trinkets falling off of bookshelves onto the floor?  If so, you are not alone.  I'm prominently raising my hand as part of this group. 

For many the Pandemic of 2020 has given them plenty of time to sort, organize and purge items from every corner of their home.  While I love this idea, copious amounts of free time allude me for now.  But here and there, I purge.  A little one day, more the next.  Purging my own items is easy, I do not have attachments to a lot of stuff (books are my exception).  When it comes to my kids, it's a different story.

Me asking a child: "Look at this toy dinosaur, ready to pass this along to a littler kid?", and all of a sudden my child drops what s/he was doing, scoops up the toy and says "oh, I forgot about you Dino!  No, we can't give this away!!!!"   I've found that instead of saying "let's give this shirt away" the question "shall we give this shirt to William?" is more than likely met with concurrence by my child.  Passing on an item to a friend, or a specific organization focused on helping children helps them say good-bye to a long forgotten toy or outgrown clothing item.

For those with really little kids, you may enjoy reading Bye-Bye Toys: A story about giving written by Anisha Mack Blumenberg (who is also a Wisconsinite).  It is a very simple book you can read with a child to nudge them towards giving items to a new baby.  I'll admit the giving away for a teddy bear made both my kids and myself quiver a bit - stuffies for them are more than toys, and we'll hold on to them until my children are old enough to firmly say good-bye.  That might not be until High School or College. 

Best of luck. And may you not step on too many stray Legos in your quest to purge children's toys. 

The Educator Within: When Repeating the Past Creates Roadblocks

The Educator Within: When Repeating the Past Creates Roadblocks
By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi
March 27, 2020

Awareness hit me like a lightening blot this past Thanksgiving.  My life was upside down, literally.  We were in the middle of a kitchen remodel.  Cabinets were torn out, a sink was missing, and the crew took my old oven away.  No oven, no "traditional" Thanksgiving meal.  Yet, despite the facts in front of me I attempted to forge ahead with Thanksgiving.  The roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, and of course pumpkin pie.  Up went my creative energy.  Use a crockpot for the turkey instead of the oven, buy a pie instead of baking one, etc.  And then it melted away.  I awoke on Thanksgiving morning and realized my plan to save Thanksgiving simply wasn't going to happen, nor would it be festive or enjoyable.  I set aside the template for the holiday enshrined in my mind since my earliest memories, and called good friends who are neighbors.  I took them up on their offer for our family to join theirs.  We did.  It was lovely.  It was festive.  And it was nothing like the Thanksgivings of my past.

Pumpkin pie, homemade in 2020 by my 11 year old son.

As the days grew darker and another holiday approached my mind settled on the fact that my kitchen life was a lot like that of my mother, and even that of my grandmother. Living in the Midwest and possessing the basic skills to cook, my standard M.O. was meat, veggie and a starch at the evening meal.  And holidays required hours, over several days, to prepare.  But, my mom wasn't a lawyer.  She ran a plastics machine in a factory and left everyday with the 3pm whistle.  My grandmother wasn't a lawyer, she ran a home that raised 5 children.  Neither of them balanced a legal practice while raising two children with a spouse who had an intense career as an electronics engineer.  No wonder I felt so much stress.  I was attempting to run my kitchen as though it were the 1970 or 1940s.  And so I stopped, and life improved.

This does connect with estate planning dear reader.  As I sat across the table from a client with a contorted facial expression similar to my own that past Thanksgiving, I shared the story of letting go of how my family had done things.  She too was attempting to repeat a process of her parents and grandparents, but within the area of estate planning.  Her life in 2019/20 did not resemble the life of her older relatives.  What worked for them wasn't working well for her.  So she set aside the "old ways" and embraced modern options.  Soon her tension evaporated, her mind cleared, and her plan unfolded with efficiency.

If you find yourself struggling to recreate the estate plans of your parents or grandparents I urge you to step back and ask yourself why?  Just because it worked for them then, does not mean it is a good fit for you now.

Thank you for reading.  Please remember a blog post is intended to spark thoughts and discussion; it is not legal advice nor should be it taken as legal advice.  I urge you to consult with an attorney who practices estate planning in your home state.  Be well, and thank you for reading.

The Nudge: What Pushes Us to Update or Create an Estate Plan

The Nudge: What Pushes Us to Update or Create an Estate Plan
By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi
March 24, 2020

An estate plan, it's something most American adults know they should have.  Yet, many put it off.  From what I've read it is less about embracing the idea of illness and death, and more of an inability to wrap their minds around the financial pieces of their life.  What pushes them over the hump from having it on their mental to-do list and actually have one signed and tucked away?  A nudge.

Until recently those nudges fell into certain groups for clients:

• Travel, especially international travel;
• Stage 4 cancer diagnosis;
• Birth of a child;
• Imminent retirement; or
• Watching the mess unfold from a loved one who had died without a plan.

As of this week I can add:

• Pandemic.

My heart goes out to the various callers I have talked to this week.  From those with parents in their 80s who do not have plans, to those expecting a first child, to those on the front lines of medical services, I hear the concern.  I am doing all I can to assist via phone and video meetings.  And I'm not alone.  The cooperation of estate planners all over Wisconsin on list serves about how we can serve those with urgent needs, and still comply with witnessing requirements as well as social distancing, has been inspiring.  

What I've Been Reading: Friendship, by Lydia Denworth

What I've Been Reading
Friendship: The Evolution, Biology and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond by Lydia Denworth
By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi, March 2020

But for the persistence of a close friend, the client would have died.  That was the take-away from a client meeting I had a year or so ago.  Like many people, the client was older, single and lived alone.  Contrary to the client's normal ways, a Saturday evening dinner was canceled because the client was under the weather.

The next morning the client called in sick to teach Sunday School, and upon hearing this news the client's astute and caring friend new something was amiss and showed up at the client's door.  Visibly disoriented, the client's friend knew medical attention was needed.  Refusing the astute friend to call 911, the client agreed to be driven to the ER.  And then the client's memory fades to black. Afterwards the ER doctor told the client "had you stayed at home one hour longer, you would be dead."  Septic shock nearly killed my client.  A friendship saved a life.

Today I finished reading Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond by Lydia Denworth. Her book pulled this memory from the back of my mind to the forefront.  As an estate planning and probate attorney I spend my days preparing client documents related to illness and death.  And I see the strain on faces when I ask who will be your health care agent? Who will be your backup?  So many people have no obvious answer, and the stress is visible.

Denworth's book is heavy on the hard science behind friendship, however, it is worth pushing through if you are more of a social policy student like myself.  Sprinkled throughout the book are the personal stories that bring the science to life, at least for me.  From birth to retirement age (and beyond), Denworth discuss how friendships are formed, and the benefits they provide.  My take-away from this book is that a power of attorney for health care is important, forming the bonds to know who to name is critical.  The more "isolated" an individual feels, the greater the risk of illness.  Denworth states "those who answered that they had five or fewer interactions per month with close friends and family were considered isolated".  Meaning mortality risk was increased.

My only criticism of the book is that it was a bit lite on the how of friendship.  She touches on the role of co-workers, faith-based organizations, community groups, and a group of friends and family.  I would have enjoyed a bit more discussion, and suggestion, on how to build the critical face-to-face time into our busy lives.  I can say her book influenced me.  While reading this week my youngest asked for a sleepover on Friday night with 2 friends.  My first thought was "no, we have a busy weekend, yada yada yada."  Thinking about Denworth's discussion of her children's friends I went against my instinct and not only said "sure", but also invited a friend of my son's to stay over as well.  So our house will be filled with 5 children's voices Friday night.  And when they have trouble settling down and not talking, I'll remind myself that they are forging critical friendship bonds, a lifelong need.

Thank you for reading.  As always, a blog is intended to spark thought and discussion.  It is not legal advice, nor should it be taken as legal advice.  Please consult an attorney in your state of residence for advice specific to your situation.  

Spring Cleaning With Charitable Twist

Spring Cleaning With Charitable Twist
By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi
February 28, 2020

Recent headlines applaud Rock Star John Oates, of the duo Hall & Oates, who will auction off a vintage race car to benefit the Amelia Island Concours d’Elegance Foundation through RM Sothebys on March 8th. The media does a wonderful job of casting the spotlight on millionaires and their 6 or 7 figure charitable donations.  My wish is the media would also sprinkle in a few stories about middle class Americans who are also philanthropic.  That's why I wrote Middle Class Philanthropist: How anyone can leave a legacy in 2013.  A small book, it is designed to encourage everyday people to consider an end of life gift to a favorite non-profit.  But we don't need to wait until we are gone to be charitable, nor do we need a vintage race car.

We are poised to enter March, the month when yard and garage sales sprout here in my hometown of Madison, Wisconsin, in 48 hours.  The snow continues to cover the ground, but Midwesterners turn their faces toward the rising sun, sense a whiff of Spring, and get restless.  At the same time, many of us have become familiar with the Swedish Death Cleaning movement, which caught on with the Simplify Your Life trends.  While Swedish Death Cleaning focuses heavily on purging before you die, anyone can benefit from a purge.  After all, you'll either move or die.  One way or another you (or someone) needs to figure out what to do with all your stuff.

Spring presents a great time to clean out what you no longer need, and be charitable at the same time.  It's simple -- put together a yard or garage sale with all proceeds benefiting your favorite nonprofit.  Advertise the fact it is going to a "good cause" and have literature about the organization on hand.  Salute the fact that we can all make a difference in this world -- vintage race car not required.

Thank you for reading, and remember a blog post is intended to spark though and conversation.  It is not legal advice, nor should it be viewed that way.  Please consult an attorney in your home state for legal advice specific to your situation. 

The Teacher Within: Powers of Attorney End At Death

The Teacher Within: Powers of Attorney End At Death
By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

Nearly every day of my elementary school days I "played school" upon returning home.  My older brother, 10 years my senior, thought I was a weird kid.  My parents thought they would raise a teacher.  Wrong!  A lawyer emerged.  What my family did not realize was the extent to which a lawyer educates as part of her legal practice.

Today's lesson -- powers of attorney end with death.  It is a new concept to my clients, who suddenly find themselves wading into the terms and processes associated with planning for, and administering an estate.  I will get a call in which I hear "I am my dad's power of attorney, and he died last week, what do I do?".  My answer: "you were his power of attorney.  That authority ended with death.  Was there a will or trust?  If so, who was appointed to act now?  Who is the Personal Representative and/or trustee?" And the educating begins.

What startles me is the number of times, usually weekly, that I need to provide this lesson to financial professionals.  Today it was a huge company's retirement division.  The front line staff refusing the court appointed Personal Representative's request for W2 information.  The proper paperwork from the court was provided.  Yet, Customer Service Rep #1973 demanded a Power of Attorney.  Tone cannot accurately be determined from an email, but it certainly appeared authoritative with a hint of indignation. My work day ended with a short informative lesson about the laws here in the Great State of Wisconsin, and a hope that the "student" we see the light, and release the necessary information. 

No, I do not hand out grades or edit papers in the way of our  public school teachers.  But I do put on an educator hat on regularly, ready to educate and hopefully ease the already difficult path of filing incomes taxes for a recently departed loved one. See mom, I am a teacher in a way!  And hopefully a bit kinder than Prof. Kingsfield.

Please note that a blog is NOT legal advice.  It is intended to spark conversation, and nothing more.  Please consult an attorney in your state of residence for legal advice specific to your situation.

Stay In Your Own Lane: When non-lawyers give flawed legal advice

Stay In Your Own Lane: When non-lawyers give flawed legal advice
January 30, 2020
By: Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

With a deep, long sigh my frustration and annoyance was revealed to the client sitting across my conference table.  It's hard to hide it anymore.  After 15 years of counseling clients on the ins and outs of estate planning and probate, I wonder what my work day would be like if I did not have to spend so much time unwinding flawed legal advice dispensed by non-lawyers.  It's the financial planners, bankers, and in some cases tax experts that fuel my trademark sigh. 

Don't get me wrong, I value the advice these experts provide on mortgages, index funds, and tax deductions. I just cannot tolerate it when they veer out of their lane, going full speed ahead with brazen authority, dispensing directives on what my clients can, and cannot due, within legal documents.  I stay in my lane, eyes on wills, powers of attorneys, trusts, domiciliary letters and the like.  I will not counsel on aspects of a mortgage, investment diversification, or whether a tax return should be filed.  I know enough to see red caution flags and direct my client to seek the advice of the appropriate expert.  But I do not give advice outside my area of focus. Sadly, this is not always the case when it comes to the law.

The importance of staying in your name no matter the horsepower.  Image by M. Gustafson Gervasi 2019

Doing well in a "business law class" as part of an MBA program does not make you a lawyer.  Listening to a lawyer present on the difference between probate and non-probate assets does not make you a lawyer.  Reading an article in the Wall Street Journal on the use of a trust in estate planning does not make you a lawyer.  Even going to law school and passing the bar does not mean one should counsel on estate planning and probate unless that is the person's area of focus.  What happens when these guidelines are ignored, when people veer out of their lane?  Accidents.

Accidents in estate planning and probate have consequences.  Inadvertent tax liabilities develop.  A well thought out and planned estate plan is pushed aside when a beneficiary form on an asset is filled out in a way that does not parallel the will or trust.  And clients can move their business elsewhere when they learn what they were told, "you simply cannot due xxxxx", is in fact wrong.  Dead wrong.  Dispensing bad advice puts your client on the exit ramp from your office, usually with a pit stop in my conference room for clarification.

My take-away for you -- just because it is free advice does not mean it is advice you should act on.  Moreover, a blog is not legal advice.  A post captures my thoughts and reflections from this side of a  lawyer's desk.  Please seek legal counsel from an attorney licensed in your state of residence.  And thank you for reading.

New Year Resolutions!

It's 2020!  A new year.  A new decade!  A new !?!?!?  Along with signing up for gym memberships, getting an estate plan seems to be one of the top new years resolutions.  Each January we open a fresh new calendar and plan for growth and adventures.  We resolve to be more organized, to be healthier, to be on top of things.  If you are one of the many Americans making the resolution to get your estate in order, here are a few things to consider.

1. Estate Planning boils down to control.  Who will do what, what will go where?  If you do not make the decision and put into a legal format someone else will, often dictated by state statute.  If you need a source of motivation to roll up your sleeves and take action, focus on "control";
2. Hire a professional.  We live in a DIY society, and that is a wonderful thing -- if you have the time, patience and skill set to complete the project appropriately.  My husband and I recently updated our kitchen, but not on our own.  We hired experts.  The result was a quality kitchen in a short period of time.  There are plenty of resources about doing an estate plan, but are they the right fit for your situation and skill set?
3. Accountability.  Who will make sure you actually finish creating an estate plan.  It's easy to order books on Amazon, download forms off the web, or attend a free seminar at the local library.  But until you put ink to paper on final documents, you do not have an estate plan.  Do you need a "workout buddy" to keep you motivated?  Perhaps a friend, a spouse, or an attorney that will check in on you to keep the project moving forward.
4. Don't Procrastinate.  Life happens, and ends, in a second.  Medical events develop leaving one incapacitated and unable to create a plan.  Sometimes a death is out of the blue and instantaneous, leaving no time to make decisions.  All too often someone falls gravely ill and while processing diagnoses and treatment plans, they attempt to wrap their energy and mind around putting together an estate plan.

Wishing you a wonderful 2020, and if it's on your to-do list, may you update or create an estate plan that gives you peace of mind.   Thanks for reading.  As a reminder, a blog post is not legal advice.  It is simple thoughts from my side of the desk.  Please consult with an attorney in your state, and obtain legal advice specific to your situation.