Hypothetically Speaking: IOUs, Lawnmowers, and Professional Boundaries in Fisk, Season 3

Hypothetically Speaking: IOUs, Lawnmowers, and Professional Boundaries in Fisk, Season 3

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

November 21, 2025

Six Fridays remain in 2025!  We’ll close out the year here on Navigator with a weekly post about the lessons learned from the Australian comedy Fisk.  Entering its third season, the show puts a hysterical spin on the issues related to practicing estate planning and probate law.  While the show is set in Melbourne, Australia – with its own set of laws – it provides great fodder for exploring the law that affects us all.

In Season 3 Helen is finally a partner in the small law office of Gruber & Fisk.  Partnership may allow her to install a barista-grade coffee machine in the breakroom, but it also means she needs to start bringing in clients.  Fans of the show know that Helen’s communication style may make this new job function quite challenging.  She is blunt, quirky and prone to interrogation.  

Quickly Helen learns that clients often pop out of no where.  Arriving home one evening her neighbor asks if he can give her a hypothetical.  She quickly points out that she cannot give specific legal advice to someone who is not a client.  Unwillingly to pay for her advice, the neighbor does his best to pump Helen for information on whether he needs to pay IOUs made by his recently deceased father to a lawn service.   Taking a twist only allowed in fiction TV series (and movies), Helen finds herself helping the recipient of the IOUs – a highly energetic tween who loves mowing lawns.  This episode leaves the viewer with two important lessons:

One, a lawyer should not give specific advice to anyone unless that person has retained them to be their lawyer.  General advice is fine, but nothing specific.  

Two, in a probate one role of the Personal Representative (commonly called an Executor in our jurisdictions) is to evaluate claims against the estate and use funds of the estate to satisfy valid claims. 

Tune in next week for more lessons learned from Helen and the gang at Gruber and Fisk.  Note, a blog is not meant to be legal advice.  Rather it is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Always seek legal counsel from an attorney in our home state.  

Upset With the World? The Middle Class Philanthropist Has Your Answer on National Philanthropy Day

Upset With the World? The Middle Class Philanthropist Has Your Answer on National Philanthropy Day

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

November 14, 2025

November 15th marks National Philanthropy Day, a time when we celebrate the incredible generosity that fuels countless charitable missions across the globe. President Ronald Reagan officially proclaimed the first National Philanthropy Day on November 15, 1986, with the signing of Proclamation 5571. The proclamation followed a joint resolution passed by Congress and was intended to recognize the enormous achievements of the millions of Americans engaged in charitable giving and volunteerism. Reagan emphasized the literal meaning of philanthropy—"affection for mankind"—and celebrated the American tradition of voluntarism as one of the country's greatest strengths.

As our nation prepares to celebrate another National Philanthropy Day this weekend, it is impossible not to acknowledge a deep sense of frustration many of people feel about the current state of the world—whether it’s political gridlock, social unrest, or economic uncertainty. It’s easy to feel powerless and anxious when the issues feel too big and complex for any single person to influence. If you are discouraged by the constant stream of negative news, consider that proactive planning is a powerful antidote to anxiety.

In a world that often feels out of control, your estate plan is the one area where you have absolute authority. When you dedicate a portion of your estate—even a small percentage—to a cause you believe in, you are not just writing a future check. You are legally and definitively stating: "This is what I value. This is what I want to sustain." Transform your frustration into positive, future-oriented action. By integrating charitable giving into your Will or Trust, you ensure that even when you are gone, your life’s earnings continue to support the values you couldn’t fully fund in the present. You are building a permanent counter-narrative to the negative headlines.

I am aware that when most people hear the word "philanthropy," they picture the ultra-wealthy—the foundations, the big names on university buildings or urban concert venues. This perception is exactly what I sought to change back in 2013 when I self-published the small book, Middle Class Philanthropist: How Anyone Can Leave a Legacy.  The core premise of the book remains vital today: legacy giving is not a luxury; it is an accessible choice.

Philanthropy simply means "the desire to promote the welfare of others." From a legal perspective, achieving this through a legacy gift means including a charity in your estate plan. This could be:

• Decluttering your home during life and donating the unneeded items to a nonprofit's thrift store;
• Designating a nonprofit organization to receive gifts in lieu of flowers at a funeral or memorial service;
• Leaving a percentage of your retirement account or life insurance to your favorite nonprofit organization;
• Establishing a donor-advised fund (DAF) that is funded upon your death; or
• Writing into your will or trust a directive to give a certain percentage of your estate to a cause that you hold dear.

Every amount, no matter the size, represents a significant final vote of confidence in the causes you care about. This November 15th, do not let frustration define you. Let your legacy define the future. If you have already created a will or trust, use this National Philanthropy Day as a prompt to pull out those documents. Does your current plan still reflect your values and, specifically, include the causes you want to champion?  If you have not yet created an estate plan, consider the immense satisfaction and peace of mind that comes from knowing you have formalized your final wishes.

Decluttering outdated school supplies - a great donation
to the Dane County Humane Society Thrift Store

Thank you for reading.  If you enjoyed this post, consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform.  Keep in mind that a blog is not legal advice; it is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Reach out the an attorney in your home state for counsel specific to your organization.  Be well!

Stop the Fights Before They Start: Planning for 7 Sentimental Thanksgiving Heirlooms

Stop the Fights Before They Start: Planning for 7 Sentimental Thanksgiving Heirlooms

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

November 7, 2025

November winds will blow in cold weather this weekend; flurries are possible here in Madison on Sunday. As the temperatures drop, my attention at home has turned to mapping out plans for our family’s Thanksgiving holiday. The big day will be here in a blink of an eye.  For those of us who put thought, care and planning into this annual meal, I encourage you to build in some extra time to think about the bigger Thanksgiving picture.

While large financial assets are covered in a will or trust, small tangible personal property—like holiday heirlooms—often goes unaddressed. These items, despite low monetary value, often cause the most intense family disputes.  Grief can surface in unpredictable ways, do your best to prevent family fights over your tangible possessions and make a plan for the long run.  Specifically consider the following items that may have special meaning for your loved ones at Thanksgiving (or other holidays and celebrations):

1. The Dinner Table (or the Leaf Set):  Perhaps it is marked and stained from the toddler years, the actual table you gather around may hold immense emotional value to your loved ones. 

2. The Traditional Linens (Tablecloth and Napkins): Perhaps they were gifted to you at your wedding, purchased while traveling abroad, or a fantastic find at a thrift shop, tablecloths, runners, napkins and other linens are often associated with special holidays and family traditions. 

3. The Special Serving Dishes and Plates: Many people may think about an antique gravy boat, the ceremonial turkey platter, or specific set of china used once a year.  Personally, my great-grandmother’s collection of unique salt and pepper shakers comes to mind.  These may be things you overlook, but through the eyes of a child they can serve as a connection to the older generations in a family tree.

4. The Handwritten Recipes and Cookbooks: Faded to the point I can hardly read it anymore, I treasure my mom’s recipe card for Cinnamon Moons.  While she passed away in 2014, this index card joins me every year during the holiday season.  Consider how fragile these handwritten recipes will become and consider updating them or putting them in digital format. 

5. The Cooking Utensils (Rolling Pin or Pie Dish): Perhaps it is the rolling pin that belonged to your grandmother or the mixing dish used by your grandfather or, like in my house, my mom’s collection of cookie cutters – these are all family heirlooms that may have little to no monetary value, but hold a large amount of sentimental value. 

6. The Traditional Holiday Apron: A simple piece of cloth, often stained but associated with the warmth and work of the cook/host, it can symbolize the passing of the torch.  Consider who in your circle of family and friends shares your love of cooking. 

7. The Sentimental Decorations (e.g., Centerpieces): Think beyond the generic Fall decor you may pull out this time of year, and consider if there is anything particularly unique.  In our house I would nominate my Fall Gnome collection.  Both kids know how I love a “good gnome” and they are a nod to my Scandinavian heritage. 

Many state statutes allow you to create a separate inventory form to dispose of your personal tangible property.  Rather than listing these items in your will, your will references this inventory form.  It is often a simple and flexible tool to direct precious items to your loved ones.  Don't let your Thanksgiving traditions become the source of conflict. Take control today and put together a plan to keep the love flowing during the holidays for decades to come. 

Prior to The Big Meal our family completes a Thanksgiving 5K -- it's tradition!

Thank you for reading.  Remember that a blog is not legal advice; it is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Please seek legal counsel from an attorney licensed in your state of residence for guidance specific to your situation. If you found this post helpful, consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform.  Be well, and enjoy the holidays!

Don't Let Intestacy Turn Your Home Into a House of Horrors

Don't Let Intestacy Turn Your Home Into a House of Horrors

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

October 31, 2025

October ends with chilly nights, colorful costumes, and plentiful jump scares. But what truly sends a shiver down this attorney's spine is not a cackling witch or shadows in the night—it is the loss of control that happens far too often in the lives of my clients and their families.

When the unexpected happens—a debilitating illness or a sudden death—chaos engulfs a family. Wishes and good intentions become irrelevant. Instead, state statutes spring into action, seizing a person’s ability to control who is in charge and where assets will go.

Estate planning boils down to control. If you do not draft your own estate plan, one likely exists for you, embedded in state statutes, written by your legislature. Chances are you will not agree with it entirely. The state’s statutory distribution plan often ignores your unmarried life partner, beloved stepchildren, or the charity you hold dear, as it exclusively favors blood relatives.

Learn from the chilling tale of Carl and Sharon, and understand how quickly a beloved home can turn into a House of Horrors.  Partnered for 30 years, Carl and Sharon spent a life together renovating a Victorian Gothic . Carl had purchased the home a few years before meeting Sharon, and over three decades they shared the financial burden of the renovations, creating countless happy memories along the way. Never married, and never becoming parents, the couple never formalized their relationship or the shared investment in the property. Neither of them completed a will or other legal document to direct the property to Sharon upon Carl’s death. While it was always on their to-do list, it never got crossed off.

Sadly, one rainy night in November, a drunk driver crossed the center line, slamming into Carl’s trusty Honda. Carl was pronounced dead at the scene of the accident. Sharon was blindsided by Carl’s sudden death, but she was also grieving while realizing she had no legal right to stay in the home they had shared for 30 years.

Under State Statutes, Carl’s surviving brother Robert, his closest living relative, became the sole legal heir to his estate. Robert and Carl were estranged since leaving their childhood home. Yet, under the law, Robert would inherit Carl’s house and other probate assets (assets with no co-owner or named beneficiary). Robert, in desperate need of the sudden windfall Carl’s death had provided, quickly took action to claim what the law stated was his. Sharon, who had invested 30 years of her life in that home, was left realizing she had no legal right to stay. The lack of an estate plan turned their beloved house into a house of horrors.

Halloween and jump scares are fun because we know they aren't real. Carl and Sharon’s story, however, illustrates a true horror—one that is entirely preventable.  Estate planning, including powers of attorney, a will, and proper beneficiary reviews, is the silver bullet against legal chaos. These documents allow you to control who inherits and who makes decisions on your behalf if you become incapacitated. When you fail to take action, your state statutes will speak for you, often creating profound hardship for the people you love most but are not legally bound to.

A classic from my childhood -- something Halloween that doesn't cause me a scare

Thank you for reading.  Remember, a blog is not legal advice.  It is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Please consult an attorney in your state for advice specific to your situation.  If you enjoy this post, consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform.  You can also enter your email, upper right, and receive notice when new posts go live.  Be well!

 

Apollo's Lesson: What The Film, The Friend, Teaches Us About Pet Trusts

Apollo's Lesson: What The Film, The Friend, Teaches Us About Pet Trusts

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

October 24, 2025

Times change, even at libraries. NPR recently ran the story 7 surprising ways the public library can save you money.  Long a fan of my public library, my current library card use centers around borrowing DVDs.  It’s a frugal and practical way to watch films that always seem to leave theaters before I get around to buying a ticket.  A recent library loan was the 2025 film, The Friend.  

Based on the novel by Sigrid Nunez, the movie centers on Iris (played by Naomi Watts), a writer living a solitary life in a small, rent-controlled New York apartment. Her comfortable existence is thrown into chaos when her closest friend and mentor, Walter (played by Bill Murray), dies suddenly by suicide and, leaving behind Apollo, his beloved 150-pound Great Dane. Without any legal plan in play for his companion, Apollo finds his way to Iris’ apartment, which does not allow pets.  The film explores the challenges of mourning the loss of a close friend at the same time as attempting to care for their beloved pet.  

Caring for the pet of someone who has passed away is a topic I’ve written about over the years.  Long ago I faced the challenge of re-homing The Boys, my mom’s two senior cats who needed a new home following her prolonged illness and death.  Over a decade later I still recall the feeling in my stomach as person after person said “I wish I could, but I cannot afford their monthly medications”.  Impacted by this experience, I have made certain our four cats have a pet trust should my husband and I pass away.  A cat who comes with financial support, even a little, is far easier to re-home than one that has nothing but a list of monthly expenses. My commitment to planning for our furry family members was reinforced while watching The Friend.  With a simple will and a few extra paragraphs, Apollo’s path to a new home may have been far easier.

A pet trust is a vehicle that holds both your pet(s) – technically they are your property – as well as some money you determine in your will.  The document names a primary and secondary caretaker of your animals as well as a primary and secondary trustee.  A trustee handles the administrative matters for the trust: paying bills, investing the money, and filing tax returns are a few examples. Funds inside the trust can pay for medications, medical care, food, grooming, and end of life care. When the last of the animals passes away, the remaining funds can be distributed.  Many clients name the caretaker or a nonprofit focused on animal welfare and rescue. 

Pet trusts may sound overly complicated or too sophisticated for your needs.  When should you consider setting up a pet trust?  Here are a situations that I think warrant a discussion of whether or not this tool belongs in your estate plan:

• When a Pet Has Special Needs or Expensive Care: If your pet requires ongoing prescription medication, frequent veterinary care for a chronic condition, a highly specific diet, or expensive specialized training, a trust ensures the necessary funds are legally dedicated to maintaining that high standard of care. 
• For Long-Lived or Exotic Animals: Pets with exceptionally long lifespans, such as parrots, horses, or certain turtles, may easily outlive any initially appointed caregiver. A pet trust provides a structure for multiple successor caregivers and ensures financial resources are available for several decades of care. 
• For Owners of a Hobby Farm or Multiple Animals: A single pet trust can manage the care for a large group of animals, such as horses, goats, or chickens, which are typically expensive to maintain and relocate. The trust can detail specific instructions for their feed, farrier and veterinary schedules, or even direct their placement to a suitable animal sanctuary, ensuring all farm animals are protected. 
• When the Designated Caregiver Faces Financial Hardship: If your preferred caregiver is willing but would struggle to afford the pet's upkeep (especially in the case of large, older, or special-needs pets), a funded pet trust removes the financial burden, legally enabling them to provide the best care without sacrificing their own financial stability.

Tiberius, the youngest of our 4 cats.  He joined the family two years ago.

Thanks for reading.  A blog is meant to spark thought and reflection, it is not legal advice.  Please consult an attorney in your home state for advice specific to your situation.  Never miss a new post!  Enter your email (upper right of this page) and receive a message when a new post publishes.

Make The Right Choice: 5 Traits of a Fiscally Responsible Personal Representative

Make The Right Choice: 5 Traits of a Fiscally Responsible Personal Representative

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

October 17, 2025

Image by M. Gustafson Gervasi 2025

Choosing a Personal Representative (also known as an Executor in other states) is one of the most critical decisions you'll make when drafting your will. This person will step into your shoes, manage your finances, and settle your affairs after you're gone.

This role is not a ceremonial title; it's a serious legal and financial responsibility. A poor choice can lead to family disputes, unnecessary expenses, and months—or even years—of probate headaches. When selecting your representative, look for these five non-negotiable traits that define fiscal responsibility.

1. Strong Organizational and Record-Keeping Skills 

This is the most fundamental trait. A personal representative is essentially the temporary financial manager of an estate, and their success hinges on their ability to organize. This is not a "shoebox of receipts" job; it's a meticulous accounting task.

They must be able to:

• Create and Maintain a Comprehensive Inventory: This includes cataloging all assets (e.g., bank accounts, real estate, investments, personal property) and liabilities (e.g., debts, bills, taxes).
• Keep Meticulous Records: They must track every dollar of income (e.g., dividends, rental income) and every expense (e.g., funeral costs, legal fees, property taxes). They must be able to produce a clear, auditable accounting for the court and beneficiaries.
• Establish a Separate Estate Account: The cardinal rule is no commingling of funds. Establishing a separate estate bank account is essential to prevent mixing personal funds with estate funds, a significant "no-no" that can lead to personal liability.

2. Financial Acumen and Sound Judgment

Your personal representative doesn't need to be a Certified Public Accountant (CPA), but they should possess a basic understanding of financial concepts and, more importantly, sound judgment.

A fiscally responsible representative knows how to:

• Manage the Estate Budget: They must understand how to budget and manage cash flow to ensure there are enough liquid funds to cover all necessary estate expenses.
• Recognize the Need for Professional Help: A savvy representative knows their role is to oversee the process, not to be an expert in every area. They're quick to seek assistance from an attorney, CPA, or financial advisor when necessary.
• Make Prudent Decisions: This includes making well-informed choices about liquidating assets, managing investments, and paying debts. For example, they need to know the proper order for paying off creditors to avoid the estate (and themselves) incurring personal liability for missteps.

3. Impeccable Integrity and Honesty

A personal representative is a fiduciary, meaning they have a legal duty to act in the absolute best interest of the estate and its beneficiaries, even if it conflicts with their own interests. This relationship is built on trust and a commitment to transparency.

This requires them to:

• Avoid Self-Dealing: They must never use estate assets for personal gain and must be completely transparent about any potential conflicts of interest.
• Act with Loyalty and Impartiality: Their duty is to the deceased's wishes as outlined in the Will. This means they must remain impartial to all beneficiaries, which is especially critical if the personal representative is also a beneficiary.
• Maintain Confidentiality: They will be entrusted with highly sensitive financial information and must be trusted to handle it with the utmost discretion.

4. Patience and Strong Communication Skills 

Administering an estate is often a long, complex, and emotionally charged process. It requires more than just financial skills; it demands "people skills" to keep the process moving smoothly.

A good representative must be:

• An Effective Communicator: They need to provide clear, regular updates to all parties involved—beneficiaries, the probate court, creditors, and professional advisors. This transparency is the best way to prevent disputes and build trust.
• Diplomatic and Resilient: They must be able to handle potential family conflicts and beneficiary disagreements over asset distribution with grace and patience.
• A Realistic Expectation Manager: They should be upfront about the typical timeline and the legal complexities of the probate process, ensuring beneficiaries aren't left in the dark wondering what's happening.

5. Availability and Commitment 

Administering an estate is a significant time commitment that can take months or even years to fully complete. It can be just as demanding as a part-time job during certain periods.

Therefore, the person you choose must:

• Have the Time and Willingness to Do the Work: They need to be someone who is not already overwhelmed by their own professional or personal obligations. The time commitment is not fair to someone who has to squeeze it in late at night.
• Live in a Manageable Location: While not always a requirement, a local personal representative can often handle tasks like dealing with property, bank visits, and court filings more efficiently and cost-effectively than someone who has to travel from a great distance.

Here is the bottom line: Choosing a Personal Representative is a decision that requires careful thought, not just sentimentality. By selecting a person who embodies these five traits, you ensure your final wishes are handled with the financial prudence, legal integrity, and organizational rigor they deserve.

Thank you for reading.  Remember a blog is not legal advice; it is meant to spark thought and reflection.  It is best to seek legal counsel from an attorney licensed in your home state.  If you found this post helpful, please consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform.  Be well!

Asset Inventory Alert: Don't Drop the Ball on These Overlooked Estate Items

Asset Inventory Alert: Don't Drop the Ball on These Overlooked Estate Items

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

October 10, 2025

It was a perfect Saturday in August.  Mild temps and clear skies.  My family piled into my SUV and headed north to Lambeau Field for a match-up between the Green Bay Packers and my son’s beloved Seattle Seahawks.  It was a pre-season game, explaining why we were able to affordably purchase four tickets to the game. 

The Packer franchise is legendary selling out every game, but also for having the longest wait list (reported as 140,000) for season tickets. Our trek to Green Bay and back provided several hours for family banter, bouncing around our favorite topics.  My comments touched on the place season tickets to the Packer Games can take in estate planning.  “Really, people can pick who inherits their tickets!!!”  my kids half asked, half expressed shock from the back seat. “Yes!  I have had several clients lucky enough to hold season tickets, and they all made plans for what happens to them at death.”  The answer is quite easy, all you need to do is Google it and you’ll get a link to the Packer’s web site with a form to complete a beneficiary form for season tickets.  My question to you reader, is what item might you own that should be included in your estate planning, but has been overlooked?

As an estate planning and probate attorney, I know that unique and valuable assets can be overlooked, leading to family tension and lost value.  For example:

• Valuable Collections and Hobbies: Whether it's a fine wine cellar, an extensive stamp or coin collection, rare comic books, or high-end equipment for a passion like a professional-grade telescope or expensive photography gear. These items often have significant monetary and sentimental value, and simply stating "all personal property" may not capture your specific wishes for who should inherit them.
• Digital Assets and Online Accounts: From cryptocurrency holdings to the monetized content on your blog or YouTube channel to frequent flyer miles—your digital life has real value. Leaving a complete list of digital assets and how to access them is essential for your Personal Representative to fulfill their fiduciary duty to handle your estate.
• Intellectual Property and Royalties: Do you receive royalties from a book you wrote, a patent you filed, or music you composed? These ongoing income streams need to be specifically directed. Without clear instructions, the rights and payments can become tied up in probate, delaying income for your beneficiaries.
• Expensive Tools, Machinery, or Specialty Vehicles: Think beyond the family car. If you own a classic car, a motorcycle, a specialized tractor, or a fully outfitted ham radio shack with costly machinery, a simple list of who gets which item can prevent disagreements among heirs who may all want the valuable equipment or help your Personal Representative recognize tools with value that can be liquidated and added to your estate. 

As you work on your estate plan, aim for the Hall of Fame in planning just like our beloved Green Bay Packers.  If you are fortunate enough to hold season tickets, make certain the tickets—and everything else you own—go exactly where you intend. Go Pack Go!

Remember that a blog is not legal advice.  It is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Seek counsel from a licensed attorney in your home state.  If you found this post helpful, consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform.  Be well, and thanks for reading!

20 Years, 5 Questions: How the Five Ws Can Build Your Perfect Estate Plan

20 Years, 5 Questions: How the Five Ws Can Build Your Perfect Estate Plan

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

October 3, 2025

This past Wednesday marked my 20th anniversary of operating my legal practice, where I focus on estate planning and probate administration.  Looking back, I can now say that every estate plan, regardless of its size or complexity, is a direct answer to the most fundamental questions of life and death: the Five Ws. These journalistic essentials—Who, What, When, Where, and Why—form the backbone of both proper planning. Today I want to explore five essential questions everyone must face when creating an estate plan. 

Who - when making the decision to name people for certain roles in your estate plan be honest with yourself.  Who is best equipped to handle health care decisions if they are your agent for the power of attorney for health care? Who do you trust with your checkbook if you are alive but too sick to manage your finances? And who is most like Switzerland for managing your final affairs under a will; meaning who is precise, efficient, and neutral?

What - ask yourself what assets will make up your estate.  Keep in mind that you own two types of assets: probate assets which do not have a clear label on them about where they go when you die; and non-probate assets which have either a co-owner or beneficiary indicating where they will be distributed upon your death.  A will distributes only your probate property.  A common example of probate property is a home owned by a single person.  A common example of a nonprobate property is a life insurance policy with a completed beneficiary form. 

When - the best time to do an estate plan is now.  Do not wait until you are in the middle of a health crisis.  While a plan can be created in the midst of a health care situation, it is less than ideal.  The recent pandemic taught us that we never know when illness may strike, and that finding appropriate witnesses and a notary can be a challenge. 

Where - once created, give good consideration to where you will keep your final paperwork.  It is horrible to think of the time and money you spend on a plan to have it then lost or misplaced when it is needed.  Come up with a plan, and share the location with the people you have named in the documents so that it can be accessed if you are unable to communicate.

Why - ask yourself why you want to create a plan.  Is it to take control of a situation?  Is it to protect your loved ones?  Is it to be charitable at the end of life?  Knowing a specific goal (or two) helps you settle on which legal instrument to create when setting up an estate plan. 

Twenty years has taught me that estate planning isn't just about documents; it's about decisions. By consciously answering the Five Ws—determining Who will act, clarifying What you own, deciding When the plan is created, ensuring Where it can be found, and knowing Why you're doing it—you eliminate guesswork, reduce complexity, and replace worry with certainty. If these questions have sparked a realization that your answers aren't yet clear, the best time to act is now. Don't leave your legacy up to chance; schedule a time to finalize your answers and protect the people you love.

Thank you for reading.  Know that a blog is not legal advice. Rather, it is meant to spark thought and reflection.  I encourage you to seek advice from an attorney licensed in your state for counsel related to your unique situation.  If you found this post helpful, please consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform.  Be well!

More than Just a Movie: What Manchester by the Sea Teaches Us About Guardianship

More than Just a Movie: What Manchester by the Sea Teaches Us About Guardianship

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

September 26, 2025

Scanning the shelf of recently returned DVDs at my local library branch my eyes landed on the film Manchester by the Sea.  A faint memory clicked in my brain; this was a film I had wanted to see.  I added it to my stack of library materials, checked out, and headed home.  Looking up the film I learned that in 2017 it was nominated for 6 Oscars, including best picture.  Actor Casey Affleck won for best actor, and writer and director Kenneth Lonergan was awarded Best Original Screenplay.

As the end credits ran, it was obvious why the film had garnered critical acclaim. The film tells the story of Lee Chandler, a Boston janitor who becomes the sole guardian of his teenage nephew, Patrick, after his brother, Joe, unexpectedly dies from a heart condition.  Lee returns to his hometown of Manchester, Massachusetts, to handle Joe's funeral arrangements and is surprised to discover that his brother named him as Patrick's legal guardian in his will.

The movie's central conflict revolves around this legal designation. Lee, emotionally scarred by a past family tragedy, is reluctant to take on the responsibility. He initially tries to find a way to avoid the guardianship, suggesting that Patrick live with a family friend or even his estranged mother. However, Patrick is adamant about staying in his hometown, where he has friends, a girlfriend, and a life he doesn't want to leave behind.

The legal weight of Joe's will is a constant presence. It's the reason Lee has to stay in Manchester and confront his past. The will's provision ensures that Patrick's care is legally entrusted to a family member, reflecting Joe's wishes. The film highlights how a will isn't just a document for distributing assets; it's a critical tool for protecting a minor's well-being and a way for parents to ensure their children are cared for by someone they trust. It also poignantly illustrates the immense personal and emotional burden that can accompany the legal responsibility of a guardianship. The central dilemma of the movie is whether Lee will be able to overcome his grief and accept this role, fulfilling his brother's wishes and providing a stable home for his nephew.  I will not spoil the ending for you in case you opt to watch it yourself.

Storytelling entertains us, allows us to bond and connect, and it provides education.  Manchester by the Sea is a powerful reminder that when nominating a person in your will to be the guardian of your minor child(ren), be realistic.  Is this something that person can handle, and handle well?  This is not the time for Pollyannaish thinking; be realistic. Here are some factors to consider when deciding who is the right guardian, and successor, named in your will:

• Does the person share similar views to you on the rhythm of daily life, religion, finances, and education?
• Does the person have sufficient time to welcome your child(ren) to their home and daily life?  
• What sort of relationship does this person currently have with your child(ren).  Are they close enough for trust and safety to be felt by a child going through a crisis?
• For older kids (think 12 and up), who would they want to live with if a guardian were needed?  For many teens the bonds with school friends and teammates can be strong and powerful.  Sometimes a blood relative is not the best fit for a teen bonded with their tight-knit friend group.

From my perspective as an estate planning and probate attorney I see many couples come into to create a first estate plan AFTER the kids have left the home.  Oftentimes it was indecision or conflict about naming a guardian that prevented them from doing a will earlier.  “We couldn’t settle on a guardian, so we just avoided doing a plan.  Now the kids are older, and we don’t have that blockage.”  I get it, I’m a parent.  No one person will be the perfect fit during an unthinkable time.  Yet, if the unthinkable happens, a will is the legal way to tell the court who should step in.  Parents are likely the best suited people to make that decision.  Look at your options, be realistic, and make it legally binding by signing a will. 

I highly recommend the film Manchester by the Sea.  The storytelling is powerful, it will make you think, and it will make you feel.  It will also spark quality discussions about a critically important decision parents make. 

Please keep in mind that a blog is not legal advice.  Use it to foster discussion and reflection.  For legal advice specific to your situation, consult an attorney licensed in the state where you live.  If you find this post helpful, consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform. Thanks for reading, be well.

 

More Than Words: Understanding Obituaries, Eulogies, and Other Tributes

More Than Words: Understanding Obituaries, Eulogies, and Other Tributes

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

September 19, 2025

The recliner in my dad’s hospital room was brown, a beige blanket covered my legs, and the computer screen emitted blue light. These things I clearly remember.  Sixteen years ago this week, sometime past midnight on a random weeknight, I nestled in the recliner.  Taking refuge with my computer while my dad rested and was finally sedate, I faced the truth.  My dad had entered hospice care.  Soon the family would need to provide information to the hospital, funeral home, and others.  Sorting this out in a state of grief was not ideal.  If you can, face the reality that we will all be leaving this earth and that a loved one will need to furnish basic information.  Pulling information together yourself can be a lovely gift to your loved ones.  

During moments like this emotions are high and details can be overwhelming. Having lived this experience at both the death of my father (2009) and my mother (2014), I am also an estate planning and probate attorney.  My work brings me close to families during times of loss. One common area of confusion is the language used to talk about the deceased. While terms like "obituary," "eulogy," and "benediction" are often used interchangeably, they each have a distinct purpose and place.

Knowing the difference isn't just a matter of semantics—it can help you navigate funeral planning, understand the flow of a memorial service, and honor your loved one in a way that feels right. Let’s break down these common terms.

Obituary: The Factual Announcement

Think of an obituary as a public, written announcement of a person’s death. It’s a formal notice meant to inform the community.

What it is: A brief, factual article published in a newspaper or online.

What it includes: Key details like the person’s name, age, date of death, and a short summary of their life and accomplishments. It will also provide information about upcoming funeral or memorial services.

Who writes it: Typically a family member, often with the help of a funeral home, and it’s usually written in the third person.

In essence, an obituary is a public record. It provides the necessary facts for those who knew the deceased to learn of their passing and attend services.

Eulogy: The Personal Tribute

A eulogy is a deeply personal, spoken tribute to the deceased.

What it is: A speech given at a funeral or memorial service.

What it includes: It focuses on celebrating the person's life, character, and legacy. It's a chance to share personal stories, memories, and reflections that capture the essence of who they were.

Who delivers it: A close family member, friend, or colleague who knew the deceased well.

Unlike a factual obituary, a eulogy is a heartfelt narrative. Its purpose is not just to announce a death, but to paint a picture of a life well-lived and provide comfort to those who are grieving.

Benediction: The Religious Blessing

A benediction is a formal, religious act that's often part of a funeral service.

What it is: A short prayer or blessing that concludes a religious service.

What it includes: It is a closing statement, delivered by a clergy member, asking for God’s blessing upon the attendees. It is not about the deceased themselves, but about providing spiritual comfort and a sense of closure to the congregation.

Who delivers it: A priest, pastor, rabbi, or other religious leader.

A benediction is a specific component of a religious service, distinct from the personal reflections shared in a eulogy.

Other Important Terms to Know

Death Notice: This is a much shorter version of an obituary. It’s simply a very brief, paid announcement in a newspaper that provides only essential information, such as the person’s name and the time and place of their funeral.

Memorial Service vs. Funeral Service: A funeral service is a ceremony with the body or cremated remains present. A memorial service is a ceremony held to honor the deceased but without the body present.

Homily: In a religious funeral service, a homily is a sermon given by the clergy that reflects on religious texts and offers spiritual guidance. While it may reference the deceased, its primary purpose is religious instruction and comfort, not a personal tribute.

Celebration of Life: This term describes a less formal memorial gathering. The focus is on celebrating the person’s life rather than mourning their death, often with music, food, and a more relaxed atmosphere.

Icelandic Cairn. Image by M. Gustafson Gervasi 2025

Preparing this information now is one of the greatest gifts you can give your family. It alleviates stress during a time of grief and ensures your life story is told accurately and beautifully.

For the Obituary (Factual & Public)

• Full Name & Nicknames: Your legal name and any names you were commonly known by.
• Birth & Death Information: Your date of birth, place of birth, and date of death (this will be added later, but your birth details are crucial).
• Parents' Names: Your parents' full names, including your mother's maiden name.
• Survivors: A list of surviving family members, including their full names and relationship to you (e.g., spouse, children, siblings, grandchildren).
• Predeceased Family: A list of family members who have passed away before you, including their names and relationship to you.
• Accomplishments & Milestones: Key life achievements, such as military service, degrees earned, notable career highlights, or significant volunteer work.

For the Eulogy (Personal & Story-Driven)

• A Personal Bio/Narrative: A short summary of your life in your own words. Include things that matter to you, such as your values, hobbies, and passions.
• Memorable Stories: Write down a few of your favorite anecdotes or life stories. What are the moments you'd want people to remember? What made you laugh?
• Favorite Quotes & Sayings: A list of quotes or personal phrases you often used. This helps to capture your voice.
• Character Traits: Describe your personality. Were you known for your kindness, sense of humor, wisdom, or perseverance?
• Impact on Others: Note how you would want people to remember you. What was your most significant impact on your friends, family, or community?
• Favorite Music, Poems, or Scriptures: A list of songs or verses that have personal meaning to you and that you would like to be included in your service.

For the Funeral/Memorial Service (Logistical)

• Service Preferences: Do you want a religious or secular service? A formal funeral or a more casual "celebration of life"?
• Location & Type of Service: Where would you like the service to be held? (e.g., a place of worship, a park, a funeral home). 
• Speakers: Who would you like to speak at your service? (e.g., a specific friend, a family member). 
• Pallbearers: If applicable, a list of people you would like to serve as pallbearers. 
• Charitable Donations: If you prefer donations in your memory over flowers, list the names of the organizations. 
• Final Resting Place: Your wishes regarding burial, cremation, or scattering of ashes.

 A blog is not legal advice.  It is intended to spark thought and reflection.  Please consult with an attorney is your state of residence for legal advice specific to your situation.  If you found this post helpful, please consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform.  Best wishes, and thank you for reading.

On Your Marks. Set. Go! Take Control of Your Estate Plan

On Your Marks. Set. Go! Take Control of Your Estate Plan

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

September 12, 2025

Summer of 2025 brought an unplanned hiatus here on Navigator.  Efforts in late June to tame the jungle in our backyard led me down a path of medical intervention.  Unfortunately my weeding path must have hit a patch of poison ivy, which I am apparently highly allergic to.  Multiple doctors visits and nearly 8 weeks of steroid pills later, I’m feeling much better.  The yard remains an overgrown mess.  

Travel in early August took me to Las Vegas to attend the 59th Star Trek convention with my family.  “I married into the franchise” best describes why I made my way to a city that is not really my cup of tea.  The people I love the most in this world LOVE the Star Trek franchise.  From the Original Series to the current production of Strange New Worlds, they will dominate any trivia game associated with Trek. Trust me, if you have to spend a few days in Vegas, in August of all times, hang out with Trek Fans.  They are highly educated, kind, and favor cookies more than shots of booze. 

Now it is September.  As the Northern Hemisphere tilts on its axis away from the sun, light rays come at a slant that is ideal for capturing images from my kids’ high school cross country meets.  On Your Mark, Set, Go!  It’s time to resume my weekly posts, where I aim to share lessons from my work as an estate planning and probate attorney.  Melding my summer experiences with the start of another cross country season in my home, I leave you with this:

On Your Mark.  It’s time to prepare for the race. End your procrastination.  Survey your situation with estate planning.  What is out of date?  What is missing?  For example - did any key player in your estate plan die in the past year?  If so, it’s time to update your documents. 

Set. Get into position and be ready to explode with power. This is the phase where you schedule an appointment with your attorney to make updates.  If you handle these things on your own, set aside a 4 hour window on your calendar that you assign to complete the update.

Go! Launches you out of a stationary position.  Sign your new forms.  Having a draft is not sufficient.  Put ink to paper and put this needed update behind you.  

If you feel stuck, remember that illness can strike at any time.  Out of the blue you may find yourself in far more medical appointments than you had planned.  If you cannot decide on who to name, focus on the people in your life that are smart, kind, and responsible.   That may be your relatives, or it may be your chosen family.  It’s time to put the chaos that can come with summer living behind us.  Focus and take control of your estate plan.  As I tell my kids the morning of a cross country meet, you’ve got this!

Image by M. Gustafson Gervasi September 2025

Thanks for reading.  If you find my posts helpful, consider sharing them on your favorite social media platform.  And remember, a blog is not a lawyer.  Posts are not legal advice, but are aimed to get you thinking and talking about issues that we all face.  Be well, and thanks for reading!

 

Why You Should Read: The Measure of Our Age by MT Connolly

Why You Should Read: The Measure of Our Age by MT Connolly

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

June 27, 2025

My copy, complete with post it notes and dogged-eared pages.

Recently I read The Measure of Our Age: Navigating Care, Safety, Money & Meaning Later in Life by M.T. Connolly, which explores the fact that while our society has managed to extend the average American life by 30 years, we have lagged on enhancing those years with deeper quality of life.  

Composed of 15 chapters the book is a comprehensive look at aging in America.  Topics include the typical: housing and money issues.  It also delves into the topics of elder abuse/neglect and the benefits of intergenerational living arrangements.  Connolly, an attorney and leading expert in the area of elder justice, delivers a sociological style read filled with true accounts and practical considerations.  For anyone planning to age with grace and dignity or those who aim to support a loved one in their elder years, this book is worth the read. 

Connolly spends considerable time exploring the topic of elder scams, something I believe will explode in American society as our Baby Boomers age and become more vulnerable to opportunists.  Unlike the past, our elders are under new lines of attack from those inside their trusted circle as well as thieves operating out of criminal dens on the other side of the globe. Not all doom and gloom, Connolly also spends time discussing Imagination Kits; created by English Professor Anne Basting at the University of Wisconsin, the kit aims to bring joy and meaning to late life using a technique called creative engagement. 

The book would be enhanced with the addition of tips and suggestions a person can employ in their own life or on behalf of an older loved one that rely less on government services. More and more I am reading about people retiring overseas in an effort to find lower costs of living and improved quality of life.  This topic may add even more value to Connolly’s research in future editions of her book. 

Earning 4 out of 5 stars on my Goodreads account, I highly recommend this book.  It provides stories combined with statistics on a timely and emerging issue for most Americans.  Spend a few hours with her work, and then start sketching out a plan for yourself and your loved ones.  We have more years, let’s make the most of them!

Thanks for reading, and remember that a blog post is not legal advice.  It is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Always seek legal counsel from an attorney licensed in your home state.  If you found this piece helpful, consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform.  Also, sign up (upper right) to receive emails when new posts hit Navigator.  Be well!

Pocket Peace of Mind: Estate Planning and Probate Lessons from Rome's Pickpockets to Today's Tech Scams

Pocket Peace of Mind: Estate Planning and Probate Lessons from Rome's Pickpockets to Today's Tech Scams

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

May 16, 2025

Streets of Rome, Italy.
Image by M. Gustafson Gervasi

Taking in the sites of Rome, Italy this past winter break, our itinerary read like the list of “Top 10 places for Pickpockets in Rome”: Roma Termini Train Station; the Colosseum; Trevi Fountain; the Vatican Museum; and Bus #64.  Yet, we felt prepared and did not experience the dreaded missing wallet or phone while traveling.  I read up about common pickpocket techniques in advance, purchased of a Baggallini anti-theft purse, and prepared a few responses to unsolicited offers of help (a common ploy thieves use to distract you abroad).  The trip was a success: we enjoyed the sites and returned to the States with our wallets, phones and passports!  Keep this story in mind as your life kicks into the high-gear of summer living.

Yes, your life is about to get busy.  From summer travel plans, to attending marriage ceremonies, to helping a recent graduate move, the weeks between Memorial Day and Labor Day weekend can flash past in a blur.  During these crazy busy days of Summer, be careful – do not let your guard down in regards to your finances or those you manage for a loved one.  Opportunists strike when the victim is off-balance and distracted. Empower yourself by learning about current ways scam artists attempt to separate you from your money.  

Relative in need: someone pretends to be a family member or friend who reaches out through email or phone and says they are in trouble and need you to wire money immediately.  Using AI technology, scammers can mimic someone’s voice with as little as 3 seconds of recording.  For example, using someone’s outgoing voicemail greeting, scammers can use AI to make it sound like that person is calling a loved one for help.

Charity appeal: you receive a call, email, letter, or social media request to donate to a charity that is actually fake.  Perhaps it is entirely made up, or the name is close to an actual charity.  Before donating, confirm that it is legitimate.  One resource is the IRS website and checking its list of verified nonprofit organizations.  https://www.irs.gov/charities-and-nonprofits

Playing the lottery in Panama.
Image by M. Gustafson Gervasi

Lottery or sweepstakes: receiving a message that you have won is foreign lottery, often with a prompt that you need to provide your bank account information to receive your winnings.  

Home Improvement: Before signing a contract or making a deposit, confirm the integrity of any home improvement professional or company.  Sometimes they will take a deposit and then return. Other times, while working on a minor project, they will break something intentionally that requires a lot more money to fix.  Word of mouth with your neighbors is a powerful way to find quality help around the house, followed up with a check at your local Better Business Bureau.

Free lunch:  There is no such thing as a free lunch is the saying; if you are invited to a free lunch or dinner to attend a “seminar”, know that it may come with high pressure sales techniques.

Free trip:  Watch out for offers of free travel that then require you to supply credit card information to hold the reservation.  Chances are there is no trip, and the scammers will use your credit card information to line their pockets.

Government money: From taxes to subsidies for home repairs to utilities, use caution if you receive a letter or email from a government agency requesting your credit card or banking information.  Always verify that what appears to be legitimate actually is.  Look up the contact information independently; do not use what is printed on the letter or email.

Drug plans: Scammers may pretend to be with Medicare prescription drug plans to sell you discount cards for medication that are not real.  

Identity theft: Scammers will steal your personal information and use it to open credit cards or loans in your name.  Guard information such as your complete legal name, date of birth, social security number, account numbers, and your mother’s maiden name.

Fake mail from financial service companies: From investment companies to banks to accountants, make sure an email or letter is not fake.  Scammers will use this method to try and get at your banking information.

For those who have been scammed, or simply received scam solicitations, consider making a report to any of the following:

• Adult Protective Services
• Long-term Care Ombudsman,
• Police or Sheriff
• Better Business Bureau
• Federal Trade Commission
• US Postal Inspection Service

Remember that a blog is not legal advice.  It is meant to spark thought and discussion.  I encourage you to seek counsel from an attorney licensed in your home state.  Thanks for reading, and consider sharing this post on your favorite social media platform.  Also, in the upper right corner you can enter your email address and receive notice for future posts.  Be well, and enjoy your Summer!

Beyond the Myths: 3 Steps to Understanding Estate Planning Law

Beyond the Myths: 3 Steps to Understanding Estate Planning Law 

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

May 9, 2025

"Pffhhhh, still saying this....? " I asked to myself as my eyes fell upon the sign posted in a local store.  "No, that’s not quite right", I muttered to myself.  The victim does not have the legal authority to prosecute shoplifters; that power lies with the District Attorney.  A victim can report a crime to the police, provide evidence (video surveillance for example), and express their preference.  But the ultimate decision to prosecute is for the District Attorney to make.  Over and over my legally trained eyes see half-truths and myths hovering over our understanding of the judicial system.  Even in my area of focus, estate planning and probate, the general public's knowledge is usually not quite accurate when it comes to the law.

The most common example I see relates to power of attorney.  “I need to hire an attorney.  My mom died last week, and I am her Power of Attorney.”  This statement is not accurate.  In Wisconsin the authority of a Power of Attorney terminates when the principal dies (Wis. Stats. 244.10(1)(a)).  “Technically you were your mother’s power of attorney, but that authority no longer exists”.  This is an important distinction because the person with authority to make decisions after a death occurs is called the Personal Representative here in Wisconsin (most other states use the term Executor).  As a result, it is the Personal Representative who needs to seek out legal counsel, not the Power of Attorney.  Depending on what documents were drafted and what they say, the person who was the Power of Attorney for finances may or may not be the Personal Representative.

Here are three things consumers can do to learn about the actual law, not myths and misconceptions, for estate planning and probate:

1. Explore Your State Bar Association's Resources: Most state bar associations have sections dedicated to providing information to the public about various legal topics, including estate planning and probate. For example, if you are in Wisconsin, you could visit the State Bar of Wisconsin's website. These resources often include plain-language guides, FAQs, and even directories to find qualified attorneys.  
2. Review Official Government and Court Websites: State government websites, particularly those of the legislature or judicial system, often contain summaries and explanations of the relevant laws and procedures. Look for resources from your state's probate court or the state legislature's website, as they may have official guides or FAQs about estate planning and probate processes. 
3. Seek Out Educational Workshops or Seminars from Reputable Organizations: Look for educational workshops or seminars on estate planning offered by trusted organizations. These might include local bar associations, community education programs, or sometimes even non-profit legal aid societies. These sessions are often led by attorneys and can provide accurate, law-based information in an accessible format. Be sure to check the credentials of the presenter and the reputation of the sponsoring organization.

Remember, a blog is not legal advice.  It is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Please consult an attorney licensed in your home state for advice specific to your situation.  Enjoy this post?  Consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform, and sign up for email updates when new posts arrive.  Enter your email in the upper right-hand corner.  Thanks for reading, and be well. 

Ensuring Smooth Transitions: Gene Hackman's Will Teaches Us the The Importance of Survivorship Clauses

Ensuring Smooth Transitions: Gene Hackman's Will Teaches Us the The Importance of Survivorship Clauses

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

May 2, 2025

“Alright, and then on page six of your will you will see the section called ‘Survivorship’ – this means that a person can outlive you, but not survive you long enough to inherit.  For example, if there is a car accident and you die at the scene and your spouse dies two weeks later, she did not survive you by 90 days (the time frame noted here in the will), so the will treats her as though she predeceased you and your assets will go to the contingency you named.”  Weekly, as I educated my estate planning clients on the basic mechanics of a will, I offer these comments.  In recent weeks I have started to point out that they may have heard about the Survivorship concept because the will of Actor Gene Hackman apparently did not have a survivorship clause. Meaning his share of their combined estate will likely be distributed according to the intestacy laws of New Mexico; flowing to his children who he may not have intended to inherit. “It always amazes me that an actor with an $80 million estate has a will without this basic concept – did they have their entertainment lawyer draft it?”  I say with a shake of my head, then I move on to discussing the next steps in my client’s estate planning process.  

Gene Hackman portrayed a savvy and skilled lawyer in the 1993 movie version of The Firm, but his real world estate plan appears to have been lacking. Survivorship clauses in a will are useful for several reasons:

• Preventing Double Probate: If beneficiaries die shortly after the testator, their estates would also need to be probated, resulting in additional costs and delays. A survivorship clause streamlines the process by avoiding this double probate.
• Ensuring Intended Distribution: As demonstrated in the example above, survivorship clauses help ensure that assets pass to the intended beneficiaries, especially in cases of simultaneous or near-simultaneous death.
• Avoiding Unintended Heirs: By specifying a survival period, you can prevent assets from passing to individuals you may not have intended to benefit.
• Clarity and Certainty: Survivorship clauses provide clarity and certainty in the distribution of assets, reducing the potential for disputes among heirs.

Keep in mind that some states may have default survivorship periods.  For example, in Wisconsin the default survivorship requirement is 120 hours ( or 5 days).  In the scenario of the married couple in a car accident, if there had been no will with a 90 survivorship requirement, the wife would have lived long enough to inherit.  Likely triggering a dual probate process. While it may seem like a minor detail, a survivorship clause is a vital component of a comprehensive estate plan. It provides crucial protection against unintended distributions and ensures that your assets pass smoothly to your intended beneficiaries.

Remember that a blog is not legal advice; it is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Please discuss survivorship clauses with your estate planning attorney in your home state. They can help you understand the implications and tailor your will to your specific needs.  Thank you for reading, be well!

Decluttering for Peace of Mind: An Earth Day and Estate Planning Perspective

Decluttering for Peace of Mind: An Earth Day and Estate Planning Perspective

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

April 22, 2025

Once again a gentle Spring rain greeted my teenagers as they silenced the alarms on their phones and started their day - Earth Day 2025.  Year round they bike to school; studded tires make a Wisconsin winter bike commute a possibility.  Now that the snow is behind us (we hope) its the wet days that spur them to ask for a ride instead.  I said no, not today, and sent them on their way.  And then I zipped up my rain coat, laced up my tennis shoes, and walked to the office in the rain.  

Morning walk - the sun arrives

My 30 minute walk gave me time to think about all the clients I have helped over nearly 20 years of practicing estate planning and probate.  Many put a huge amount of energy in writing documents, making sure they are stored correctly, and leaving written instructions.  The one area that seems to be neglected by many is the art of decluttering.  Having an estate plan on paper is a great thing; only 32 percent of Americans have a will.  But, if you really want to make your passing as easy as possible on the loved ones you leave behind, I suggest decluttering now.  It will be a gift to your loved ones, and to Mother Earth.

When you take the time to declutter now you can rehome items efficiently, minimizing what gets tossed into a dumpster.  You can also save loved ones hours and hours of time sorting through your possessions, trying to decide what to keep and what to toss, make all the more difficult because they are operating in a cloud of grief.

This is not a new topic for those who follow my writing.  Here are 2 different book reviews I’ve written that might motivate you to tackle the clutter yourself, and not leave it up to your heirs:

• The Art of Swedish Death Cleaning -- click here for the review.
• Inheriting Clutter -- click here for the review.

A blog is meant to spark thought and reflection - it is not legal advice.  Please consult with an attorney in your home state for advice specific to your situation.  If you have found this post helpful, consider sharing a link on your favorite social media platform.  Also, enter your email above, upper right, to receive a message when a new post hits. Be well, and thank you for reading.

National Healthcare Decision Day - What to Know

National Healthcare Decision Day - What to Know

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

April 11, 2025

“Brain, brain, what is brain” quipped my almost 15 year old daughter as we wove our way through information tables at the recent UW Carbone Cancer Center Open House.  Among the display tables, all featuring interesting swag, one table offered rubber gloves and the chance to pick up a human brain.  She quoted an episode from her beloved Star Trek (she is very much her father’s daughter in terms of Sci Fi preferences), and then quickly exited the area.  I on the other hand had a few questions for the eager medical students armed with knowledge and props.  As an estate planning and probate attorney, I routinely discuss organ donation with my clients as they complete a power of attorney for health care.  When we think about “donating my body to science” we likely do not think about the role actual human organs play in community outreach!  Now I have a new perspective to share with my clients.  I also have no insight into my scientifically inclined daughter – she will not be working with anything involving formaldehyde.

Organ donation used for community outreach

Ever the teenager, my daughter was not pleased to be spending her Sunday afternoon at a scientific open house.  “Mom, these events are for 3rd graders, not me.  And it SMELLS in here!”  I agreed, but countered with a positive “well, at least we know you don’t want to work with human organs.  Identifying what you do not want to do for a career is likely more important than settling on a specific career before you can vote!”  There is intense pressure on our teens to decide on a career path at an early age.  Sometime too early in this mama’s opinion.  And I offer this same approach to you dear reader, when it comes to making decisions and you feel stymied, start with ruling things out.  That may help you zero in on what you do want.  For example, it's time to make healthcare decisions.

Next week we’ll celebrate National Healthcare Decision Day on April 16th.  Organized by The Conversation Project. The day is meant to encourage Americans to make decisions about your healthcare preferences and to make those choices known.  Specifically, you can create a Power of Attorney for Healthcare where you can appoint another person to make your medical decisions when you cannot due to an accident or sudden illness. For example, the person can consent to surgery, schedule medical appointments, or set up in home healthcare.  Another document is called the Living Will (aka Advance Directive) which tells your medical team what measures you want in an end of life situation.  For example, whether you wish to receive life-sustaining treatments like CPR, dialysis, or mechanical ventilation.

Laws related to estate planning and probate are state specific.  Each state has its own set of laws and regulations related to powers of attorney for healthcare.  It is important to learn the laws of your state, and follow them accordingly.  Here in Wisconsin, we are not a “next of kin” state.  That means there is no automatic assumption under the law about who can make healthcare decisions for you if you are incapacitated.  As a result, the courts would then appoint a guardian.  This may be someone you would not have wanted to act.  If at all possible, make a decision about who should speak for you, and then make it legally binding by creating a power of attorney for healthcare.

You are likely the best person to decide who should act for you.  If this topic is new to you, consider the following factors when selecting your healthcare agent:

• Who has the time, or can make the time, to handle decisions if you are seriously ill
• Who has the skill set to be your advocate in the overcrowded healthcare world
• Who will honor your wishes and follow your wishes when making medical decisions
• Who will remain the most calm and level headed it you are in the ICU

Thank you for reading.  Remember that a blog is not legal advice, but rather a platform to encourage thought and reflection.  Please seek legal counsel from an attorney licensed in your home state.  Consider sharing this post on your favorite social media platform if others might enjoy it, and sign up above (upper right hand corner) to receive an email for future posts.  Be well!

4 Steps for Pet Lovers to Include in an Estate Plan

4 Steps for Pet Lovers to Include in an Estate Plan

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

April 4, 2025

Her name was Kiki, and she was a full-of-life 5 year old cat who all of a sudden found herself in need of a new home.  When her human companion suffered a sudden and severe illness, it became clear that under no circumstances would they be able to continue sharing the downtown condo they had called home.  Like countless other animals, Kiki's path was uncertain – now what?  

It was the promise of a dear family friend that secured Kiki secured a new family.  And that family is my own. Kiki's sudden need for a second family is not unique, and is one I routinely discuss with clients.  Now aged 18, she remains full of sass and demands her breakfast and dinner with the precision of a Swiss train. 

When assisting people in drafting powers of attorneys, wills, and trusts – I routinely ask them “what if questions”.  And more often than not I hear “Oh, I hadn't thought of that!”  In the case of clients who are human companions to dogs, cats, and other animals I offer the following suggestions:

• Program the ICE in your Smart Phone (it's the In Case of Emergency key) to have a Pet Contact. Should you be in a car accident or other situation where you are fall ill away from home, make sure emergency personnel know about animals in your home that may need care within the next 12 hours.  It is common practice for authorities to use your phone to locate loved ones, and it can alert them to special circumstances in your home.
• Post a Care Contact Document on your fridge.  Parents of young children often have a magnet on the fridge with the phone number for the pediatrician, etc.  Those with animals in the home should create a similar document and list: name and phone number of veterinarian; list of prescription food or medicines for each animal, if any; contact information for a short-term pet sitter; and the name and number of one or two people who are willing and able to offer a new permanent home to an animal.
• Create powers of attorney for finance, which allow your agent to manage your financial affairs if you are alive, but too sick to act.  This should include services related to animal health and care.
• If medical or other care costs will be a financial burden on future caretakers, consider creating a pet trust in a will.  This tool can be simple (usually four paragraphs long), and allow you to transfer animals and money to a trust managed by someone you appoint, cared for my a person of your choosing, and direct where any remaining monies should upon the death of the animal.

Ms. Kiki - now aged 18

Please know that a blog is not intended to be legal advice.  Rather, it is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Please consult with an attorney licensed in your state.  Be well, thanks for reading, and share this post on your preferred social media if you think others might enjoy it as well!

Financial Elder Abuse: What is It and What to Look For

Financial Elder Abuse: What is It and What to Look For

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

March 14, 2025

Waiting for the A line on the BRT

Once a month I bus to downtown Madison, WI for a Legal Association for Women luncheon.  Over a lovely meal at Copper’s Tavern the group listens to a guest speaker, fulfilling our requirement to complete 30 hours of continued legal education every two years.  I enjoy my Sweet Corn Salad with Chicken (yes, I get the same meal every month) while a speaker expands my knowledge on subjects outside my area of focus.  This past week the speaker was preaching to the choir; as an estate planning and probate attorney I have a front row seat to the growing concerns related to elder financial abuse.  

What is elder financial abuse? It involves the illegal or improper use of an older adult's funds, property, or assets. It can range from simple theft to complex schemes involving power of attorney. A power of attorney is a legal document that gives authority to someone you appoint to make financial decisions for you.  Sometimes this power is only “triggered” if you are incapacitated and unable to act.  Other times it takes effect immediately.  It is up to you to decide under what conditions you want another person making your financial decisions.  Note, at death the authority to act for you ends.  

Concerned about an older loved one that might be subject to financial abuse?  Keep the following in mind:

1. Sudden Changes in Financial Habits:

• Are there unusual transactions in your loved one's bank statements? 
• Look for large or frequent withdrawals that don't match their typical spending patterns.  
• Are there new "friends" or caregivers exerting influence. 
• Be wary of individuals who suddenly become overly involved in your loved one's finances. 
• If your loved one suddenly alters their will or trusts, especially under pressure, it could be a red flag to abuse. 
• If your loved one is struggling to pay bills despite having adequate income, it could indicate financial exploitation. 
• Are valuable items like jewelry, electronics, or artwork disappearing?

2. Behavioral Changes in the Elder:

• Does your loved one seem afraid or uncomfortable around a particular family member, caregiver, or friend? 
• Are they withdrawing from social activities or becoming isolated from friends and family? This could be a sign that someone is controlling their access to others. 
• While cognitive decline can be a natural part of aging, sudden changes in mental clarity can also be a sign of manipulation or abuse.
• If your loved one becomes secretive or defensive when asked about their finances, it's a cause for concern.
• Are there signs they are not receiving adequate care, even though they have the money to pay for it?

3. Actions of the Potential Abuser:

• Does someone consistently interrupt or monitor your conversations with your loved one? 
• Are they constantly asking for loans or gifts? 
• Do they have access to bank accounts, credit cards, or online banking without a clear explanation? 
• Are they pressuring your loved one to sign documents without allowing them to consult with an independent attorney?
• Do they control the elder's access to mail, phone, or transportation?

Prevention may be key to keeping our seniors safe.  When possible, stay in close contact with your elderly loved ones and encourage them to discuss their finances with you. Help them understand their financial options and how to protect themselves from scams. Periodically review bank statements, credit card bills, and other financial documents for any irregularities.  For those in Wisconsin, there is an Elder Abuse Hotline to call to leave an anonymous report.  You can call 1-800-586-0107 or visit www.gwaar.org. 

Thank you for reading.  As a reminder, a blog is not legal advice.  It is meant to spark thought and reflection.  Please consult an attorney licensed in your state of residence for advice specific to your situation.  Again, thank you for reading.  Be well!