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Somehow I held back the tears, the ones brimming in my eyes, sobs wanting to escape my throat. Somehow I held back, somehow I keep calling -- can you help me find a home for The Boys?  It was January 2014, what locals here in Wisconsin will remember as Polar Vortex season, and my mother was dying.  What would happen to The Boys, her kitty cats?  With three cats of our own, two of which were seniors, plus two young children and a dual self-employed couple -- our home was not a viable option. Sitting in my car, with illumination from the lamp post in the parking lot of the building I was scheduled to speak at in less than 30 minutes. Channeling my estate planning attorney self, quieting the daughter inside, I kept calling.   Our local shelter, a local feral cat rescue, our family vet.  The answer over and over, sorry we cannot help. It was my family vet that told me, ever so gently, that if The Boys went to our county animal rescue they would likely ...

So, you’re telling me I am better off just managing this Goat Rodeo?   A rhetorical question posed by a client some months ago in follow-up to our one hour discussion about the ins and outs of the 1986 trust the client's parents had created.   Yes, that is one way to put it. This may go down as my most humorous and enjoyable client meeting of 2014. Goat Rodeo -- what a perfect way to summarize the state of affairs. If you are an adult child, chances are one day you may manage the "Goat Rodeo" of your parents’ estate.  There may be a trust, a will, nothing at all.  Documents may have been written 25 years earlier, designed and mandated to follow outdated tax codes.  No will?  No worries, a distribution plan is embedded in the state statutes where your parents lived/died.  You will quickly learns the ins and outs of this plan.  If you have sibling, prepare yourself for a flash back to the fights you had as tweens (was that even a word when you...

It never fails.  New clients walk into my office and sit down for our first meeting of the estate planning process.  Once the initial hellos are finished and the legal services agreement reviewed and signed, we get down to business.  Nine times out of ten I hear "oh, this will be simple, we are a solid middle class family." Instantly this Shaker song pops into my mind (one I adore and delight in signing at our UU church). The song makes me smile, such a happy little ditty.  The client(s) is smiling, thinking this will be simple because they do not have tons of assets, just the normal amount of a normal person or couple here in the heart of the Midwest. A glance at their questionnaire and the tune fades from my mind, replaced by something for chaotic. Something more ominous.  Something that is anything but simple. Something along these lines: Why the change in background music?  It's simple really.  Money is not what makes estate planning co...

Without fail, every week or so a client will give me the look.  Akin to Gary Coleman on Different Strokes, what I call "the Wathcha' Talkin' About Willis? face.  You remember, this one: Behind the look is an air of confusion, annoyance and frustration.  These are the type of conversations that place unfavorable adjectives in front of the title lawyer.  Case in point: Client: My wife died on Sunday, her sister died Thursday, so my wife outlived her and is the beneficiary of the sister's IRA. Attorney: Well, your wife died after her sister, but she may not have actually survived her, it depends. Client: [intent pause, brow wrinkles, and they are clearly holding back the statement -- now I thought you were suppose to be smart, you went to law school, and now your tellin' me that my wife did not survive her sister, come on, pay attention] -- what? is the question they toss my way. Attorney: In the world of estate planning we have a concept called survivor...

"Are you kidding me, it's in the Bible......follow the dying person's last wish!"   It is not often that my husband invokes the Bible, he is an atheist after all.  But when he does, he is serious, and he is expressing the fact something is ancient.  Not just some new trendy idea -- it dates back to biblical times. We had been discussing the fallout of my mother's memorial service. Yes, such an event can have fallout. And from my vantage point of an estate planning and probate attorney, I can tell you that it happens more often than not.  But here I was, the daughter, not the attorney, in the mini-drama surrounding her final wishes. Thankfully that legal education of mine fortified my backbone, allowing me to stand tall and carry out her wishes, despite the descent of her grieving relatives. With no uncertain terms, she had clearly expressed her wishes to me from the passenger seat of my Honda Civic.  Sick for many years, we often found ourselves wi...

My phone chimed, indicating a new Facebook alert. Quick downward swipe of my fore finger and there it was, notice that the Mary and Baby Jesus planter had a new home! Relieved, a smile enveloped my face knowing that: one, I managed to keep this item out of a landfill; and, two, a piece of my mom and dad would live on in the home of neighbors who know the meaning of “it takes a village”. The expression “you cannot take it with you” has never had more impact on me than it did at the moment I read that comment. You die, but your stuff remains. And then the question, where will it all go? Her final breath came on a Sunday, two days after Valentine's Day. One audible exhale akin to sinking into a warm bath, and my mother's earthly days came to an end. It took a few moments for the reality to sink in. She was gone. Both of my parent's were now gone. At age 40 I was an orphan. Sobs finally arrived, having been stoic during her final months, as her body clearly shut d...

It's May 26, 2014, Memorial Day here in the United States.  Symbolized by vibrant poppies, it is a day to pause and remember those who have their life in battle for the values American's hold dear.  Today I will be with my family, enjoying the start of summer customs but also taking a moment to reflect.  With children just shy of age 6 and 4, I plan to share with them this poem, from with the symbol of poppy grew, I leave you with a reading of In Flanders Fields.

As the parent of preschoolers it was bound to happen, the request to watch Cinderella.  Never a huge fan of Disney movies due to the fact they always manage to kill off the mom, I had kept these films from our kids. But now, on the cusp of turning 6 and 4 they had heard enough from classmates to request a viewing.  A free DVD was up in our closet, a long ago gift from family.  So, this past Mother's Day weekend, as the heavens unleashed a Spring storm over Madison, I curled up with my kids and husband to watch this classic film. Almost immediately my husband turns to be, and with an amused but shocked expression on his face, mouths "it's an estate planning problem!"  And so it was, on my day off from work here I was watching a film with the type of situation I walk clients through on a daily basis.   If you die, and then your spouse dies, who will take care of your children and the funds you leave behind? Guardianship, it's a key sticking point for many pa...

Weekly, if not daily, I find myself in a verbal or email conversation with a client in which I am having to explain why want they have done, or think they can do, is not a wise option.  Frustration on their part is evident.  Why am I telling him or her no when his or her banker, financial planner, sister, or fellow bus rider said they could.  Because I'm their lawyer, that is why.  They accept it, and I feel for them.  Why does it have to be so hard?  Because things get complicated quickly. Add another person to your bank account?  You may have just stepped on the gift tax.  The IRS will not care if the banker suggested this move and thought it was okay. Manage to add your daughter's name to the deed of your condo?  What happens when she dies, gets sued, files for divorce or bankruptcy?  Your financial planner probably never brought those scenarios up before encouraging you to get a quit claim deed to make the change yourself....

The author's inquisitive older child.  One who also loves to learn and ask questions.  Possible scientist, possible lawyer?  Time will tell. Why did you become a lawyer Mama?  This question was posed to me as my oldest child settled into bed last week.   Two reasons: I wanted to help people, and I love to learn.  Law allows me to do both of those things.  He floated off to sleep and I went down the hall to the computer where to process the end-of-the-day emails that routinely pile up from 3:30pm until the fall to sleep, a time I devote to my young children.  Waiting in the email was a reminder about an upcoming Continuing Legal Education seminar offered by the Wisconsin State Bar.  It is a good thing I like life-long learning, because according to the flier -- everything we knew about trusts in Wisconsin is about to change.  Here is a quick overview of why, put together by my associate......who has already attended the seminar! ...

Last week I had a great phone conversation with someone who had attended a seminar of mine in the past. The caller was exploring long-term care options, and we have a very enjoyable conversation about the pros, cons, and unknowns (that is an entirely different article from this post).  The caller raised a key question when updating or creating an estate plan " who do I know who is savvy enough to understand this long-term care contract, because if it comes into play, I'm not healthy enough to advocate for myself? " Excellent question.  All too often I see people with a knee-jerk response to the question who do you want to list as your agent on the power of attorney for finance.   My son, because he is the oldest or my sister, because if I do not she'll nag me until the day I die -- all things I have heard from clients.  And in my opinion insufficient.  If you are too sick to make your financial decisions, who in your circle of family or friends has the...

Estate planning essentially answers who and what questions.  Who will be in charge when you are either to sick to act or have died, and what will happen to your assets.  One of the top five questions clients pose during meetings is "can I name someone other than a family member?"  Without hesitation, my answer is "yes, it is about taking control, name who is right for the job."  What follows is a discussion of the skill set needed to be an agent under a power of attorney for health, or finance, or a personal representative for a will.  However, before we get to that discussion I encourage you to pause and ask -- who is your family? Asked to define family, I would say they are the people who share your life.  They are there for celebrations, for mourning, and the mundane.  On the other hand, relatives share your DNA or a branch on a family tree. Sometimes relatives can also be family, but not always.  Before instinctively naming your br...

With my mother dying this past February, the topic of talking to children about death and dying has been on my mind.  And it is a topic that sometimes comes up in the office.  When the book What Do We Tell The Children? Talking to kids about death and dying by Joseph M. Primo arrived on my hold shelf at our local library I was eager for some advice. Primo is the executive director of Good Grief, Inc, a nonprofit in New Jersey.  He holds a divinity degree and is a former hospice chaplain.  Consisting of eight chapters and just under 130 pages, it is an approachable book.  The reader is drawn in by Primo's own story of his first experience of death; he was a teen when an aunt died suddenly at a family gathering.  His story highlights how society used to talk to children about death -- essentially not at all. The book then continues much in the style of a memoir, pulling from stories during his time with hospice and then Good Grief, Inc.  As a...

Image from www.sxc.hu, # 921217 Imagine a car is traveling on the interstate, heading out for a much needed Spring Break.  At the wheel is a newly minted driver, 16 year old Todd.  In the passenger seat is his proud mother Sharon, navigating the GPS instructions taking them to the Sunshine State for some good times.  At home remains Todd's pet dog Tuffy, left in the care of his father, Ted, the ex-husband of Sharon.  In the blink of an eye a tire flies off a passing vehicle.  The inexperienced Todd over-corrects and a violent collision occurs.  When rescue crews arrive Sharon is declared dead on the scene.   Todd is airlifted to the nearest trauma hospital where he dies. What happens to Sharon's estate? If she did not have a will, state statute controls.  Here in Wisconsin her probate estate would pass to her son as long as he outlived her by 120 hours.  Should Todd die the following day, he would not have survived and Sharon's es...

In 2012 Congress and the President gave a gift to those attuned to estate planning.  The federal estate tax exemption was increased and earmarked for inflation.  Finally!  Now I could advise my clients beyond the year or two into the future.  We had a federal exemption of $5 million per person.  Until then the threat of the level falling back to the $1 million mark lingered. That made planning a challenge. Under current law any one person can die and leave $5.3 million at death without triggering the federal estate tax.  Married couples can leave an unlimited about, tax free, to US citizen spouses.  With the exemption tied to inflation, planning done now evolves nicely over time. And then I blinked. Over the past two years, as I discussed the federal estate taxes in seminars, I routinely joked " what Washington giveth, Wasthington can taketh -- keep an eye on this issue ."  Perhaps I told that joke one time too many.  News reports last we...

Readers of this blog may have followed that my mother passed away on February 16th of this year.  With her last breathe I was an orphan at age 40, my dad having died back in 2009.  I was also left with the task of emptying and cleaning out their ranch home.  And is often the case, it had quite the supply of medications. Some used, others not, some prescription, others not.  Regardless of the source, I found myself hold two large plastic bags full of pills, creams, inhalers, and more.  What to do with them? Tossing them down the drain or in the trash puts current and future generations at risk -- a water supply contaminated with discarded meds.  Harmful to fish, wildlife, and possibly us.  Thankfully here in Madison there is a program called MedDrop , offering 12 year round drop off sites.  One was not far from my mother's home.  And it was just as the snow began to melt and Spring moved to town that I safely disposed of the medicatio...

One of the top five things that motivate clients to pick up the phone to call and make an appointment to begin the process of creating a will is a stage-four cancer diagnosis.  Working with the client, the family, and often involved in the post-death paper work, we here at GGLO are motivate to do what we can to raise funds for research and treatment.  And that is why on Saturday, April 12th we will be lacing up our walking shoes. Join our team and or make a donation -- our goal is to raise $1,000.  Click here for more details.  Checks payable to the American Cancer Society can be sent to our office, 313 Price Place, Suite 204, Madison, WI 53705, by Friday, April 11th.  Together we can make a difference!

Thank you to guest host Judith Siers-Poisson for having me on Wisconsin Public Radio's Larry Meiller Show yesterday to discuss my book, Middle Class Philanthropist: How anyone can leave a legacy .  For those who were not able to tune-in, the show is now available on-line, click here . Philanthropy is a term normally associated with individuals who have a seven-figure net worth, making a splash in the end of the year news cycle with hefty donations to worthy causes.  Judith and Wisconsin Public Radio helped shine the spotlight on the every day Americans who have made a difference in the life of a nonprofit without leaving it a fortune.  I know the four stories included in my book are not the only ones out there.  If you have a story to share, please email or call me as I work on my second book on this topic.  My goal is to profile ten or twelve individuals or families who have left a legacy without being mega-wealthy.

Author's parents It's an email that lingers in my memory years after I found it in my in-box.  "Carl wants to reach out to you!". The Carl in question had a Yahoo email account, and it was not Carl who had been on the account recently but rather his widow Sharon.  They used the same email but it was registered to him, one she did not change after his death in September of 2009.  Why would an email from so long ago still take up precious memory power today in 2014?  The Carl behind the email was my dad and his widow my mom.  He had only been dead for a few months when one day I find a cryptic email waiting for me.  Thanks Yahoo! A similar yet less emotional social media ping hit my husband last week.  Going about his work week he was running through the hundreds of emails that tend to pile up.  Sitting there was one from LinkedIn encouraging him to congratulate a colleague on a work anniversary.  Sadly, the colleague had died suddenly...