16 Lessons Learned: Estate Planning & Probate Practice

16 Lessons Learned: Estate Planning & Probate Practice

By Melinda Gustafson Gervasi

October 1, 2021

Today my practice is old enough to have its own driver's license -- #16!  Since 2005 I have been fortunate to counsel clients in my hometown of Madison, Wisconsin on issues related to estate planning and probate.  Today I pause to share 16 lessons I have learned while navigating my practice:

1. People often need a push to make the call to get on an attorney's calendar to complete an estate plan.  International travel and the arrival of a baby used to be the biggest nudges, then COVID 19 arrived to spur record numbers of people to take action and make a plan;
2. It is immensely easier to make decisions about who will do what and where assets will go when you are NOT also dealing with a severe illness.  Don't wait to plan until you have a stage 4 cancer diagnosis.  Sadly, it is the number one thing to prompt clients to call;
3. The type of estate planning vehicle (will versus trust) is less important than who you put in charge to handle your final affairs.  If that person is not the right person for the job it will be a mess no matter if you funded a trust or used a simple will;
4. Organized paperwork is a huge gift to leave your loved ones -- the greater the mess, the more they'll stress;
5. People think they know where their documents are until they need them.  Double check today to avoid a crisis in the middle of a crisis;
6. No one will be the perfect fit to raise your children if you die, but having no plan is far worse.  Aim for 85% in terms of a good fit and nominate that person(s);
7. We cannot really know how a person will  handle functioning as a health care agent or personal representative until we observe them acting on another's behalf.  You can always amend your plan if that person no longer seems to be a good fit.
8. Grief exacerbates family tensions.  There are two sisters out there who will never speak to one another again because of an armoire. But it really isn't about the armoire, it is about so much more that was never really faced;
9. Estate planning is about taking control of the "who" and "what", but not the "when";
10. Do not wait to travel until you retire. Tomorrow is not guaranteed;
11. We no longer memorize out loved ones phone numbers.  Write them down so they can be accessed when they are most urgently needed;
12. Family cabins and farms are not just pieces of land, they are a family member.  Plan accordingly;
13. You can lead a horse to water but not make it drink.  Sometimes you need to let the chips fall where they may and then get to work.  In other words, you cannot compel your loved ones to do an estate plan;
14. Leaving all of your assets to your "responsible" child who will "take care of the others" is a horrible idea, and one that may cause that responsible child a lot in gift taxes;
15. Laws related to estate planning and probate and state specific, unlike immigration, a federal law, that is the same from Maine to California.  Most people are not aware that what their sister in Maryland wrote may not be appropriate for one living in Wisconsin; and
16. People are compelled to use the same estate planning documents as their parents and grandparents even though their lives are drastically different. 

Bonus #17 -- In Door County, Wis there is a white fish known as the "Poor Man's Lobster" or Lawyer.  This sign is from Oct. 2009 when my family enjoyed a few days in the lovely area of my home state. 

Thank you for reading.  Remember that a blog is not legal advice, but rather a vehicle to spark thought and discussion.  Please consult an attorney in your state of residence for legal advice specific to your situation. 

GGLO Forms Team for American Cancer Society Walk

One of the top five things that motivate clients to pick up the phone to call and make an appointment to begin the process of creating a will is a stage-four cancer diagnosis.  Working with the client, the family, and often involved in the post-death paper work, we here at GGLO are motivate to do what we can to raise funds for research and treatment.  And that is why on Saturday, April 12th we will be lacing up our walking shoes. Join our team and or make a donation -- our goal is to raise $1,000.  Click here for more details.  Checks payable to the American Cancer Society can be sent to our office, 313 Price Place, Suite 204, Madison, WI 53705, by Friday, April 11th.  Together we can make a difference!

Middle Class Philanthropist: How anyone can leave a legacy appears on Wisconsin Public Radio's Larry Meiller

Thank you to guest host Judith Siers-Poisson for having me on Wisconsin Public Radio's Larry Meiller Show yesterday to discuss my book, Middle Class Philanthropist: How anyone can leave a legacy.  For those who were not able to tune-in, the show is now available on-line, click here.

Philanthropy is a term normally associated with individuals who have a seven-figure net worth, making a splash in the end of the year news cycle with hefty donations to worthy causes.  Judith and Wisconsin Public Radio helped shine the spotlight on the every day Americans who have made a difference in the life of a nonprofit without leaving it a fortune.  I know the four stories included in my book are not the only ones out there.  If you have a story to share, please email or call me as I work on my second book on this topic.  My goal is to profile ten or twelve individuals or families who have left a legacy without being mega-wealthy.

Seminars on Wills, POAs, Trusts, Probate and more - Dane County, Wisconsin

Lawyers are suppose to give back to their communities, and one of my favorite vehicles for meeting this obligation is to provide free, education seminars on the topics of wills, powers of attorney, trusts, probate and related issues.

My speaking engagements for 2013 have come to an end, but there are already several for 2014 on my calendar.  Most are two hours in length, sponsored by a local nonprofit entity, and are free and open to the public.  Take a look, sign up, and start the new year informed and in control.  Details are posted on the events page of the firm web site.  Click here for a link.

Middle Class Philanthropist and #GivingTuesday

Today marks the 2nd annual #GivingTuesday, an international effort to encourage people to give back during the holiday season.  In celebration of this nonprofit fundraising spirit, I will be holding my first ever book reading of Middle Class Philanthropist: How anyone can leave a legacy.  Join me at 6:30pm, Mystery to Me books on Monroe Street here in Madison.  There will be hot cider, cookies, and charitable inspiration!

If you cannot make it, check the book out on-line by visiting the publishing web site, Goodreads, or various on-line book sellers.  Everyone can make a difference, and it is the size of our hearts that matters, not our wallets.

Book Release -- Middle Class Philanthropist: How anyone can leave a legacy

It is with great joy that I announce the pending release of my first book publication, Middle Class Philanthropist: How anyone can leave a legacy. It will be available for purchase November 1, 2013.

Predating democracy, capitalism, organized religion, and as old as humanity itself, philanthropy exists because things often go wrong, and things can always be better in our world.  Nothing about philanthropy requires a person to have excessive amounts of money to make a difference.  In Middle Class Philanthropist: How anyone can leave a legacy, Melinda Gustafson Gervasi redefines the conventional view of philanthropy, providing simple and practical tools by which anyone can leave a legacy.


Purchases can be made by clicking on this image of the book cover.

Team for the AHA Heart Walk

Once again I will be participating in the annual American Heart Walk.  This year the event for Southwestern Wisconsin will be held the morning of October 5th at the lovely Warner Park.  My hope is not to walk alone, but with a team formed through my law office.  Those interested in walking with us, or making a donation, can visit our team page on the AHA.

Why walk?  Heart disease is the number one killer of women in the United States.  It nearly claimed the life of my mother in 1991, when she was 47 years old.  Thanks to medications, treatments, and a pacemaker her two decade struggle continues.  And every year it seems someone else in my circle of family and friends falls victim to heart disease and or stroke, with this past year bringing my father-in-law near the brink with congestive heart failure.  He is still here, stronger than ever, thanks to outstanding cardiac care.

So for my family, friends, clients, and myself.....I pledge to walk and fundraise once again.

Have a lovely weekend!

A Very Grateful Attorney

Today, April 28th, marks the anniversary of the day I left the world of employment to focus exclusively on building my own legal practice.  Seven years ago today I broke free and found a career that I adore.  Constantly learning through research, writing documents for hours at a time, providing educational seminars that feed my need to teach, and meeting amazing and wonderful people -- that is my life now when I am "at the office".

Not once I have a I dreaded going to work since embarking on this journey.  And I know that if it were not for the constant stream of clients and seminar attendees, I would simply be talking to myself.  This career path requires relationships.  So today I want to say thank you to all of those who have secured my legal services, sat through a seminar on the first warm sunny evening of Spring, or read my writing.  I look forward to many more years of legal service!  Grateful, that sums up my feelings today.

Image by M. Gustafson Gervasi, 2013 -- Door County, Wis.

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Welcome 2013!

It's here, a new year.  And along with switching to a new wall calendar, I like millions of others will begin 2013 with a resolution for my legal practice.

In 2013 I vow to form Team Gustafson Law Office for the Annual Heart Association Heart walk and raise $2500.  That will more than double the amount I raised as an individual walker in 2012.

There you have it....keep reading and see if I make my goal.  The 2013 Heart Walk for Dane County Wisconsin is scheduled for Saturday, October 5th (oh how I love other Type As who plan over a year in advance!).

Image by M. Gustafson Gervasi, 2012

Why the heart walk?  It has long been a favored non-profit organization due to the nearly 25 years my mother has fought heard disease.  And just in the past few months my father-in-law has joined the ranks for those battling heart disease.  And beyond those who suffer later in life, there is the constant knowledge that a dear friend of mine has nursed her son since before he his birth.  Many are born with severe heart complications, and thanks to the wonders of science and medicine grow up and are able to play soccer and lead a healthy, active life.  But we can always do more, do better, help more people.  And that is why I will walk once again this year.  Feel free to join me on walk day, or to make a donation!

Happy Winter Solstice, 2012

Dear Reader,

Today I pause and wish you a happy Winter Solstice.  December 21st marks the longest night, and shortest day of the year.  Starting tomorrow we will begin the journey towards summer, with ever increasing daylight and shortened evenings.

Today also marks the day my husband proposed, asking me to marry him on the Summer Solstice.  It is a warm and tender day in my heart, and marks the beginning of a break from my legal work.  I will be back on January 2nd with more thoughts on illness, death and taxes for the middle class.

And now I am off to enjoy winter bonfires, slow cooked family dinners, warm beverages, nature walks with my kids, and gatherings with friends and family.

I appreciate your interest in my posts, and wish you a relaxing and joyous end to 2012.

Best wishes,
Melinda

Image credit: www.sxc.hu - free image

Gobble, Gobble

Today our nation pauses to enjoy good food, spend time with loved ones, and celebrate Thanksgiving.  I am taking the day off to be with family and prepare a feast.  But here is a little saying, one our family says before each meal (when we remember, life with a 4 and 2 year old is a little hectic some days).  Enjoy your day everyone!

For trees so tall,

and skies so blue,

For family, friends, and food,

we thank you.

Image credit:  www.sxc.hu - free image

Educate Yourself about Wills, Powers of Attorney, Probate and more in 2013

Somehow or other 2012 has nearly passed us by.  And once again I am looking forward to starting the new year with a variety of seminars on issues related to illness, death and taxes for the middle class.  From talks at a local church, to a small segment of a retirement workshop, to Money Week, you'll find me all around the Madison area educating folks on the basics of estate planning.  Check out my web site for specifics on dates and locations.  And if your organization is interested in setting up its own presentation, just let me know.

Salute Democracy

Every four years our country allows its adult citizens to come forward and have a say who which person shall lead our nation.  Whether you love or despise government, I encourage you to exercise your right to vote.

Image credit:  www.sxc.hu - free image

Four years ago my husband and I walked to our polling place, pushing our infant son in his stroller.  Today he is four years old and has a two year old sister.  As a child I remember accompanying my mother to the voting booth.  It is simply something we do, just like brushing our teeth.  And I look forward to many more elections, especially the ones where my children will be old enough to case a vote themselves.

Enjoy democracy today, it is a precious gift.

Following Wisconsin Tax Law

I am only five minutes in to the annual CLEW Tax Law workshop, and I've already received a great bit of information.  Wisconsin's Department of Revenue offers the option of receiving email updates on various areas of tax law.  From "tax professional" to "sales tax", you can plug in your email and get updates as they are published.  I've signed up, and so can you by clicking on the DOR's web site.  Stay informed, it is powerful.  And thanks for reading.  Feel free to share links to other useful tax law update sources if you have one.

Back to the Classroom

The forecast for Madison tomorrow predicts partly sunny and 76 degrees....on October 24th!  Of course I am scheduled to be in a day-long seminar on tax laws.  There will be no Ferris Bueller day for me, as there apparently will be for a fellow probate attorney living down in Chicago (according to her Facebook post).  No, I will be in class....all day.

Yes, even attorneys return to the classroom.  Once we are handed a diploma and admitted to the bar, we are still required to attend 30 hours of continuing legal education (CLEs) every two years.  And every fall you will find me enrolled in the CLEW Tax Workshop, presented by the Wisconsin Law School.  A day and a half of jammed packed tax fun, and for a great value.

And if you feel bad for me being stuck inside all day, there is no need.  It could be worse....my husband has to take continuing education for his professional engineer stamp (electrical).  And his classes have quizzes.  Ours do not!

Have a great afternoon, enjoy the mild weather if it is hovering over your piece of the world.  And watch for blog posts related to all things tax in the weeks ahead.

Image credit:  www.sxc.hu - free image

AHA Walk a Success - Thank You!

Thanks to all those who were able to donate to my 2012 request for American Heart Association donations.  Together we raised over $1100....blowing away all previous years (and this is close to my 15th year).  It was also the wettest heart walk we've done, but so worth it.  Here are a few images from the day.

What a wonderful day.  And I'm already putting together ideas on how to make the 2013 walk even better!

Heart Walk 2012 Update

Image credit:  www.sxc.hu - free image

As the work week comes to a close I am delighted to share the news that I have raised over $800 for the American Heart Walk, which will happen tomorrow morning at the lovely Warner Park.  Bundled up for a fall morning in Wisconsin, I will complete the walk with my husband and small children.  The generosity of family, friends, clients, and colleagues has warmed my heart.  Times may be hard for many people, but they opened up their checkbooks to support a great cause.  24 hours remains for on-line pledges, and every penny counts.  Here is a link to my web page.  Thanks for reading and supporting me again this year!

Looking Forward to National Philanthropy Day 2012

This year November 15th marks National Philanthropy Day.  Celebrated across the nation through luncheons, galas, award ceremonies, and seminars, it is a day to recognize those who have given from the heart.  And I am thrilled to be attending my very first National Philanthropy Day event right here in Madison, Wisconsin.  Scheduled for Friday, November 2nd at the Overture Arts Center will be a networking reception, luncheon and awards ceremony.

In a counter balance to the drafting I do for clients in the areas of estate planning and probate, I am also completing a book on how the middle class can also be philanthropic.  Giving need not be reserved for the tech billionaires we read out in the news.  As I put the finishing touches on my book, I'd love to hear stories from real world America.  What small gift made a difference in the life of a non-profit?  Please share, and inspire others.  And I might profile the story in my book!